you could be a kleptomaniac. i’d check out a psychiatrist if i were you.

I think no, because you plan a real apology with restitution and have a plan to do better and are actually doing better. If you have to try to be “good” and are, I would argue you are a better person than someone who doesn’t have to try.

Think of it as your character arc. You started out bad and are improving. If you aren’t good yet, you will be. Keep practicing.

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There’s not really any value in determining whether labels like good person or bad person apply to you. Either option tends to end in the same result: an end to the process of introspection and a continuation of the same behavior you’re already doing. “I’m a good person so I don’t have to change” or “I’m a bad person so there’s no point in trying to change” but change is the only thing that will actually affect the feelings that are inspiring you to ask the question.

The update looks like a step in a healthy direction. You felt scared so you looked for support and you felt guilty so you looked to apologize (and reimburse). Stay focused on the process of feeling better and stop stressing about absolutes.

I hope that giving back the money and buying him lunch will be enough. But don’t be surprised if he loses trust in you and needs more to rebuild the relationship.

Stealing is morally neutral, but can be a dick move if it’s against individuals/results in the dispossession of something a person needs or cares about. But shoplifting/stealing from businesses is fine. They consider it inventory loss the same as if they dropped a bottle on the floor. It’s written into their spending calculations and is an expected part of business. And quote unquote “small businesses” still had enough capital to start a business in the first place, and are ultimately insignificant anyway since the petit-bourgeoisie is doomed to forever either become big bourgeoisie or become proletarianised/unpropertied; proletarianisation is a progressive force and I’m not bothered if members of the petit-bourgeoisie become proletarianised, not that they will anyway purely from someone shoplifting lol.

Just follow the standard advice. Don’t shit where you eat (don’t shoplift somewhere you’d be upset if you got banned from) is the main one I adhere to. If you’re only shoplifting small amounts I wouldn’t worry about cops either, for small amounts they’ll just ban you from the store, at least where I live idk about everywhere.

For individuals, I wouldn’t steal from them if you care about your relationship with them. If they find out they’ll probably be upset. If I found out someone stole from me I’d mostly be upset at the dishonesty. So it’s good that you’ve been honest with your mom and are going to tell your brother. If it were me, I would be thinking, if you need something from me you could’ve just asked. Although it sounds like you’re not stealing because it’s something you particularly want or need, but just because you find stealing fun. In which case I would say just try to limit your stealing to shoplifting, or piracy if it scratches the same itch. Or steal from people you find particularly contemptible I guess.

if you are really worried about it have a session with a mental health professional. Kleptomania is a type of OCD and can and should be treated

Fundamentally, your question is “does it make me a bad person if I have done bad things?”, which is so complicated that people make entire philosophies and religions out of the answers to that, haha.

My view: you can be a good person who has done bad things, if you change your behavior and try to make amends. That doesn’t mean everyone has to accept or forgive you, but it’s a necessary part of being a good person.

Okay I don’t have any advice except this:

If you have to steal, please only steal from big corporate chain stores, not the small bussiness.

Also, be careful, cameras are everywhere these days.

I’m not judging the act of theft, just where you steal from. Please only steal from the rich.

Edit: Btw, I also really want to steal stuff… just because…

The only thing stopping me is the legal punishment. I hate the rich for what they’ve done to society and I’d love to steal, it makes me happy.

I already do a lot of digital piracy. I feel so good. Its a victimless crime. 🏴‍☠️

Judgement:

• Stealing from family and friends is super wrong.
• Stealing from strangers is pretty wrong.
• Stealing from small delis and family-owned business is wrong.
• Stealing from supermarkets and retailers? Eh.

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with stealing if you need to, but in our society, you’ve done some things that are socially unacceptable. However, you can’t change the past so don’t worry about it. People do dumb shit when they’re young. You can only change your behavior to better yourself and your neighbors in the future. Be better tomorrow than you were today.

“What is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”

• Paarthurnax

You gotta talk to a psych and get diagnosed

There are no good and bad people. People are just people, with all the complexity that involves.

But if you feel this concern then it’s probably a sign to talk to a mental health professional.

Stealing as a compulsion is a psychological issue it’s nothing to feel bad about as you have no control over it, just a) do the best you can to NOT do that and b) as a college student, you should have assistance available to you to help out. It might be worth talking to a counsellor about it or see of the school offers psych services.

Failing that, in the US, under Obamacare, you’re covered under your parents health insurance until you turn 26, it would be worth seeing what services are available there.

Seek a therapist. Some universities offer their students counseling for free if you can’t afford it.