This makes me think of the Ani DiFranco lyrics:

I am not an angry girl
But it seems like I’ve got everyone fooled
Every time I say something they find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger
And never to their own fear

Rather than take what we do or say at face value, there’s some kind of interpretation that is meant to diminish us. So assertive becomes bitchy, and honest becomes angry. 🙄