A teacher in highschool put this up on the screen and told us to read it to ourselves,

“Aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.”

Then some bright light in the back of the room asked if that was actually true after fully comprehending what was in front of them.

Money and power are what the people want and so we idolize them.

I’ll be glad to see the day when the front page isn’t 70% step-fantasies.

Trick question. The answer is Captain Kathryn Janeway.

Ain’t it just.

Disable safety protocols.

In response to nearly everything, “That was my high school nickname!”

Pizza dude’s got 30 seconds.

Aaaand now I’m sad.

Police

Because we really need yet another Superman movie…

Shoog Shoog in my ass.

I really excited about this! I just know I’m going to cry so much, though.

Got it. Gas prices will stay the same, if not increase. No one should honestly believe there’s going to be a “pretty sizable rollback”.

I think we left What If long ago.

Joe Bonamassa - The Ballad of John Henry

I use this for EQing by stereo equipment. The chains must sound like chains.

Also the entirety of The Barenaked Ladies album Gordon.

I DD’d for my girlfriend and her friend FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE!!!

Using Teams is a pretty big catch already.

Then we should string them up in a tree and beat them with sticks,

… To get the candy.

They taste like forgiveness