So I used to run a successful construction business but last year an accident happened during an assignment & not only did the business go bankrupt but also went into huge debt from all the legal stuff I had to pay off. Sold house, sold cars, sold everything valuable. Now I have a day job which doesn’t pay super well. I have a son and I feel like I’m letting him down, even though he’d never admit it; on the contrary, he always comforts me & tells me he’s happy with what we have. I basically cut off all of my personal expenses to spend the money on him. I feel so bad everyday.

  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world
    2·
    3 days ago

    I don’t know what works for you, but I do the following.

    1. Feel your feelings. Base feelings for me are sadness, joy, anger, etc. the feeling is connected to an event, but not the same as the event.And I am not my feelings, I am just having a feeling. Feeling this feeling puts me in touch with something either vital or reframes my perspective.
    2. Reorient your goals. This can be either shifting your sense of worth to something more important to you than your work or a recommitment to attaining what was lost. This doesn’t always happen on the first pass, but I’m able to lift my head up at this point and look around.
    3. Make small tasks that build towards that goal. Or just connecting with the day and the people in my life.
    4. Reconnect to your support structure. This is just as important to you as it is for them. They want to see you thrive and see the best in you re-emerge.
    5. Rinse and repeat. Stumbling is normal. Successes happen. Feel those feelings again. And again.

    I don’t know if this will work for you, but this has been a process that works for me.

    • GBU_28@lemm.eeEnglish
      1·
      3 days ago

      3 is the way.

      Have your goals. Feel your feelings. But don’t expect to jump to the other side of the ocean. Set small goals and revel in your daily/weekly wins.

      For example, I wanted to eat better and save money, when I was young and had no money. It was harder then, but I tallied up all the fast food money I was spending, and realized if I didnt buy fastfood I could afford more and better groceries including more fresh vegetables and meats. And STILL saved some money.

      So I watched my grocery bill and stopped eating fast food, ended up with some extra cash each month, and even lost a few pounds.

      This is a small thing, but I felt more in control of my life, and it made me happy.

      Modern banking apps have search features to make tallying your spending easy