From experience, ‘making it somebody else’s problem’ by asking for help, rarely ends well or gets you the help you need. It just makes you an annoyance and look bad, and eventually people (healthcare workers included) decide you’re malingering and/or attention seeking and start treating you even worse.
I wish so many comments on this post didn’t support what you’re saying. And the guy in the comic isn’t even asking for help, just showing that he’s suffering.
The comic character is doing it “right” by not making it the other guy’s problem.
Part of the problem is that there’s a gray area on this discussion and easy to find yourself on either side.
On the one side, “my hand has been crushed and I need immediate medical attention” is something other people need to respect. And “I can’t help you with both hands because one of them is crushed” is something other people need to respect. And “my chronic hand pain makes me grumpy”, too.
On the other, if you’re not talking to a doctor or asking for help getting to a doctor, starting every conversation with “My hand hurts” begs the question “what do you want me to do about it?” And if every request to socialize is met with “Can’t do anything hand hurts”, eventually you stop getting calls.
So what’s the fair middle ground? Hard to say and varies heavily by audience. But people do love to paint on the extreme ends without addressing the mushy middle.
By “guy in the comic” I meant the original comic I posted. The one you posted comes off as mean to me. It’s great that “not great” guy isn’t doing badly enough that he feels the need to talk about his problems and he even acknowledges that he’s considering the other guy’s feelings, while the other guy comes off as, “Phew, I was just making small talk and don’t actually care how you’re doing.”
the other guy comes off as, “Phew, I was just making small talk and don’t actually care how you’re doing.”
What if the other guy is also depressed or otherwise dealing with his own shit and just looking for pleasant socialization rather than emotional baggage carrying?
Is it possible for two people to enjoy each other’s company without airing all their dirty laundry on each other?
Oh hey, I have something for this.
From experience, ‘making it somebody else’s problem’ by asking for help, rarely ends well or gets you the help you need. It just makes you an annoyance and look bad, and eventually people (healthcare workers included) decide you’re malingering and/or attention seeking and start treating you even worse.
Isn’t life fun.
I wish so many comments on this post didn’t support what you’re saying. And the guy in the comic isn’t even asking for help, just showing that he’s suffering.
The comic character is doing it “right” by not making it the other guy’s problem.
Part of the problem is that there’s a gray area on this discussion and easy to find yourself on either side.
On the one side, “my hand has been crushed and I need immediate medical attention” is something other people need to respect. And “I can’t help you with both hands because one of them is crushed” is something other people need to respect. And “my chronic hand pain makes me grumpy”, too.
On the other, if you’re not talking to a doctor or asking for help getting to a doctor, starting every conversation with “My hand hurts” begs the question “what do you want me to do about it?” And if every request to socialize is met with “Can’t do anything hand hurts”, eventually you stop getting calls.
So what’s the fair middle ground? Hard to say and varies heavily by audience. But people do love to paint on the extreme ends without addressing the mushy middle.
By “guy in the comic” I meant the original comic I posted. The one you posted comes off as mean to me. It’s great that “not great” guy isn’t doing badly enough that he feels the need to talk about his problems and he even acknowledges that he’s considering the other guy’s feelings, while the other guy comes off as, “Phew, I was just making small talk and don’t actually care how you’re doing.”
What if the other guy is also depressed or otherwise dealing with his own shit and just looking for pleasant socialization rather than emotional baggage carrying?
Is it possible for two people to enjoy each other’s company without airing all their dirty laundry on each other?
Then he could say, “I’m sorry to hear that you’re not doing great. I hope things get better!”
That wouldn’t make for a pithy comic punchline