We’re anti-grass lawns now? Fuck yes. I knew this place had potential.

I’m no landscaper so don’t quiz me on the options, but grass is in the lowest tier option for things to fill outdoor space with.

They can be, but they can also be a social and recreational space.

Your mum’s a social and recreational space, but I don’t see you going to bat for her despite being more useful

I was going to call them friendless losers who never had company over to play cornhole, have a bonfire, or lounge around on a hot summer day getting doused by a sprinkler while drinking beers because they are repugnant socially awkward cave trolls who are bitter and jealous of people who use their picturesque lawns.

But I would never do that because that is neither civil nor polite.

dang hates this one weird trick you can use to be an asshole in spite of the orange site’s civility rules

also what is that list of activities? did ChatGPT generate this? grass is required to play beep boop normal human games like cornhole now? you’re “having a bonfire” on grass and not in something normal like a firepit that’s safer on rocks or concrete? you’re just laying down on the grass, where the dog shits, slowly getting drunk and incredibly itchy from the grass as a sprinkler douses you?

picturesque lawns

oh maybe that’s it, the only people I’ve ever met with picturesque lawns are wealthy and wealthy people ain’t fucking normal

Or you could just not water it, not fertilize it, not pesticide it and simply run the mower over it whenever the assorted vegetation (which will be mostly grass) exceeds a certain height.

It won’t look “nice neighborhood” nice but it’ll still be fine.

i love when my yard is a giant mud patch rimmed by yellow with an occasional glimmer of green when the crabgrass blooms

the orange site is absolutely populated by the type of shithead who’s proud to be on their HOA’s board