Hi everyone.
Iām on my work computer on the perennially terrible Lebanese internet, in a relatively safe town. Iām talking about some stupid client KPIs in a meeting with a bunch of people around the world. An āimportantā meeting. The clients assume Iām in Dubai or somewhere like that, and I donāt correct them.
Iāll get asked āHow are things in Lebanon?ā by some coworker in Dubai or Europe after the call and Iāll say the classic āAlhamdulillah, my family and I are okay.ā And weāre safe, we havenāt been bombed, not personally. I am lucky to work with decent people, but how could they understand. Will HR give me shit if they learn how much time Iāve spent out and about helping move essentials to shelters in the ādangerous outside worldā instead of just burying myself at home āuntil itās overā? Maybe I can get fired for putting myself in danger. Or maybe they give me leeway as a relatively senior person with the best English in my team who they get to pay less than everyone else because I donāt have a French passport - what a steal! (They pay me okay, and quite well compared to others around me, but we all know what this arrangement really is)
But corporate work, in normal times, rots the soul from the inside out. This is worse. I have to stare at the bad screen for hours while the EMTs dig people from under their homes. I have a duty to at least try to help my people, but I canāt. If I quit my job, my family loses this home and this security, and we have no place to go now that our original town is being bombed. I donāt come from money. I canāt just move or buy a house abroad or even a plane ticket (Lebanese people with no other nationality canāt go many places without a long visa process). I canāt ājust move to Europe broā, I canāt ājust move to Dubai broā. I have responsibilities. Iād love to move, but I canāt. Maybe I should.
Naturally, even nice coworkers cannot comprehend this. Besides, they need my input on the KPIs. This client is very important and number must go up after all. I hear another thud in the distance, through the crickets, I feel it in the pit of my stomach. Not close enough to threaten my life, but close enough to understand I might be next and that no area is truly safe.
This isnāt a woe is me post and I donāt want people in the comments feeling too sorry for my situation yeah. I still have my family, four limbs and two eyes, my home, a source of income in actual usable currency. Save your real sorrow for the people who have lost more both here and in the occupied territories. It could have been me in Gaza, it could have been you.
Please donate to the Lebanese Red Cross if you have the ability. Our people in the orange jumpsuits are our pride and they need everything they can get, especially now that theyāre being hit as well. Relatively transparent and reputable org with boots on the ground and a functional donation platform, please consider helping.
Oh I was just going off of my first impressions of different places that Iāll have to pick from sooner or later.
The getting kicked out of the house thing is mainly an American stereotype but itās there in many western countries I think. I remember a podcast where an American journalist who was in Iraq during the past decade talked about how the Iraqis didnāt understand where all the homeless Americans come from. Like donāt they have families? Communities? Do people just kick out the mentally ill instead of keeping them safe? Etc. Itās about the structure of society and peopleās bonds together, not just the economics.
Kids getting murdered at school is 100% an America only stereotype
Stabbing and robbing we associate a bit more with Europe.
Quite a few people here (waning majority I think) also think of the west as an unlivable hotbed of sexual decadence and LGBT ādelinquencyā but we both know thatās not in the bad column.
I wasnāt trying to bash the US in particular. I feel like Iād like to live there someday. Itās more of the dilemma of finding a place to go. The real dream is for things to work here but thatās not happening anytime soon and sadly we have more incentive to leave and save our skin than to stay and build for the future.
And oh boy do we shit on each other here. Itās not even minority vs majority, itās pluralities with localized minorities, itās retaliatory violence echoing centuries of small conflicts. You have to pay mobs for basic services. And no, doesnāt need to be richer, discrimination is alive and well in even the poorest areas. And of course, the militia that protects your town one year can shake it down the next (but thatās on us to deal with, not on the western armchair generals online). Itās not as simple as good guy bad guy. In many ways, probably almost every way, we are a failed society. But on good days, itās chill. When things line up, Lebanon just works, even if itās just for a short time.
I donāt envy your current election situation and wonāt comment on it.