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A big part of communication is learning to modulate your language registers. If you speak like a scientic paper is written when talking with your friends, people look strange at you.
Also, sometimes simpler communocation is just more effective communication
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While we’re at it, is it too much to ask for leniency in some instances of tone? It’s not my fault my autistic brain can’t hear the way my words come out. I overcompensate in work and in public by going “into character” as someone very cheery and positive - because any less than that inevitably leads to my “tone” overshadowing the content of my speech. My line of work requires my bosses to be knowledgable about autism, and I’ve even told my manager that my tone does not reflect my emotions.
Yet if ever I get tired, overwhelmed, or simply have several new instructions thrown at me in a short amount of time, I’m left not only grappling with whatever I’m told to do, but my facade slips and I also get a talking to about “my tone.” I’m sorry, I do my best to control how I speak, but despite living over 30 years on this planet I still struggle with this “basic” aspect of communication. Holding it against me won’t solve anything, but it will contribute to my social anxiety and the sense that I simply don’t belong in society.
Tone is nearly always a bullshit argument used to dismiss the content of what’s said without addressing it.
Good communicators don’t worry about it too much because there are lots of reasons someone can take a certain tone - for example if they’re tired or stressed! So they just make sure they understand what the person is conveying without worrying about how it’s conveyed.
Someone who focuses much on tone is likely a poor communicator themselves, or frequently just trying to be manipulative.
I’m in this picture and i… am ambivalent.
Your specificity here isn’t needless. You did the meme wrong.
Balderdash, the specificity employed in this context was superfluous in comparison to the minimum required for conveying his emotional response to the situation.
🧐
An ex once told me her mother wasn’t a fan because talking to me was like talking to a thesaurus.
Yeah, well, Donna, your daughter decided to start fucking me because I was the only person who could consistently beat her at words with friends.
Words with friends with benefits
I had a girlfriend try to make me speak differently because I embarrassed her by using big words in front of others. The company you keep eh?
I both
- do that too, and
- can also see how it comes across as pretentious.
Back then I was a mess socially. I’m still an introvert but I code switch like a pro. I only break out the big vocab with close friends who know I’m not trying to look smart.
There’s an episode of Northern Exposure where a young woman says to Ed “give me your words” in a very sexual way. It’s outrageously funny, and simultaneously insightful.
If you’ve never watched it, the writers are all about studying people, warts and all. Very thought-provoking.
It’s interesting, they used to think that having a big vocabulary or knowing multiple languages delayed having Alzheimer’s. It turns out that family often first become aware that a person is developing Alzheimer’s because the person starts regularly forgetting common words, but people with big vocabularies can come up with alternatives when they can’t remember one, so their family doesn’t recognize it as early. When those people are diagnosed, they end up being further along.
Awesome, I now need to get tested for another thing
I had a political conversation with a right-wing co-worker a while back, and he generally operated in good faith, but he got flustered and tried to do the “why do you use big/pretentious words” scold on me, and he did not handle it well when I responded “I guess home school and Liberty University didn’t land you with much of a vocabulary”.
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I’ll clap for you, can’t miss out on being part of everyone.
Holy crap, I thought I was the only one.
Consecrated fecal material, I entertained the notion that I had embarked upon this adventure without companions!
i like when people use big words cause then i can learn a new word. it’s nice knowing words to say stuff with
i like using big words as an excuse to teach them!
Same energy as “your English is so good”. No, I just don’t know normal words.
I just don’t know normal words.
As an ESL, I felt that in my bones. One time my boss asked me to get the pail to water the plants and my only exposure to that word had been the wailmer pail from the Pokémon games that I misremembered as a “whalepail”. It was awkward trying to explain why I was stumped.
“This is a complex subject with a lot of subtleties. We have to choose the right words to make sure we avoid misunderstandings. Any sufficiently developed topic has a language all its own.”
Sir, this is literally a Wendy’s.
We were arguing about putting fries in the frosty. I was against it because it’s structurally unsound.
It kills the fries.
Blasphemous. Dipping fries into the Frosty improves both the fries and the Frosty.
Me go caveman mode. Talk dumb. As coping mechanism.
What “mek nism”?
mek nism like many rock work together
Sometimes boss is self. Sometimes boss is man. Sometimes boss is rock who thinks with lightning.
My oldest bitches about me doing this constantly. ‘We haven’t learned that yet’. ‘Sorry it’s all the voices gave me’.
Had a hard time changing the context to having kids versus you being an eloquent pimp.
Shit I almost choked.
I’m commander Shepherd, and this is my favorite comment on the Lemmy verse.
Your kids have to tolerate it forever. Nobody said when exactly you’re supposed to stop teaching them to talk.
I write a lot of fantasy, and that definitely affects my practical vocabulary. I don’t think the specificity is needless though, especially in English, this Frankenstein of cognates and loaner words. You have so many options because the human experience is so diverse and multifaceted. Clarity helps, and it makes language more beautiful, something we should all strive for
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Damn, no one ever put it into words like that but this describes me perfectly
It gets worse the more deviations you get away from the mean:
Scientists and other academics who often pride themselves on their rhetoric act in peculiar ways when they’re challenged on their assumptions with sources.
Normally, you’d expect the open-minded to be like: “Wow, that’s something I hadn’t considered! Thanks for expanding my intellectual horizons!”
Instead its: “You completely invalidated my work, you fuckwit! We’re going to lose funding!”
Always be kind to everyone you meet. C:
