I only found out about a pregnancy when I went to a doctor for an unrelated illness. It was so early that I hadn’t even missed a period yet. When they asked if I wanted a pregnancy test, I was like, “Eh sure, why not.” Didn’t think anything of it, and I was shocked when it came back positive.

But yeah, I figure most women will know whether they might be pregnant or not. I just happened to be within that slim window of time where the only tell was that my brain was in a fog so bad that I couldn’t think an entire sentence through. Naturally, I’d first attributed that to the illness. But now I know what “baby brain” feels like, and damn, hats off to those who stick it out all 9 months. I don’t think I’d be able to function like that.

I never thought I’d say this, but going to work actually makes me happy. I work with autistic and disabled children, and man, they give me life. Helping them learn and grow, seeing them pick up and apply new skills, hearing their unique observations, and witnessing their creativity all bring joy to my day.

I’m currently waiting for my first learner of the day to arrive, and I know that when he gets here he’ll be making the most joyful squeals as he plays with his favorite ball. His smile is like caffeine mixed with sunshine, energizing me every morning even on the hardest days.

Don’t get me wrong, this job has its challenges, but the fulfillment I get from working with this population is immeasurable. It took many years of crappy jobs with crappy management before I got here, and I’m glad to say I think I finally found the job where I belong.

The set-up clearly indicates that this is specifically about the type of men who would belittle gays, minorities, and women. If you’re not that type of man, then you’re not in the picture.

A couple things.

First, some languages do have authorities that bound their language by rules. For example, the Académie Française and the Real Academia Española, which work for French and Spanish, respectively. English is an exception, which uses common usage rather than strict “definitions.” So while English is free to change with speakers, some languages do have official groups that make rules about their use.

Second, those who dislike “female” (when used as a noun describing female humans, specifically) aren’t turning the word into a pejorative - they are merely reporting that their experience with the word, when used in that way, expresses derogatory sentiments. The critics aren’t turning it into a “bad word,” the people who use “female” to describe women and girls are already using it to “otherize” and dehumanize half the population. To ignore the way that effect makes women and girls feel, even though they’re the ones being directly affected by such usage, is quite dismissive. I don’t want to throw around the word “mansplaining” willy nilly, but if you’re a man who goes around explaining to women that they shouldn’t be offended by a term that impacts them, but which you have no personal stake in, it might be wise to step back and listen to their experiences.

All this stuff is still around

This may be true, but,

you just ignore it

is an unfair claim. It used to be easier to find unmonetized small sites and blogs. I know some still exist, but I can’t help but wonder how many more are buried out in the web, unable to be accessed by newcomers because those who run search engines have different interests than their users.

It also frustrates me how restaurants in international airports only follow the local “meal schedule.” If everyone were in the same timezone all day, then okay, I can see why you’d only offer breakfast before 10am. But that isn’t the case in an international airport. Why are all the dinner places closed? (Rhetorical question - I know the answer is “$$$”)

But if you’ve been flying for hours, jetlagged from changing timezones, and you still need to catch a connecting flight, you may be ready for dinner/supper. It sucks when you want a more substantial meal, but the only options are eggy breakfast sandwiches and doughnuts.

It just makes more sense to offer options for any time of day in a place that’s open 24 hours, where you know the people you intend to serve will be on different meal schedules from what the locals might follow.

And that includes allowing people to buy/drink beer. But alas, those damn blue laws supersede all of that.

In an odd twist, my work has started announcing updates using messages full of Zoomer slang.

The first message at least included a more straight-forward explanation below the original message, but the one we got this week had no such translation. I remember as a kid being weirded out when adults tried to talk “hip.” Now I’m older than their targeted demographic, so I not only get second-hand embarrassment at their attempt to talk “cool,” but I also have no clue what half the words mean. It’s the cringiest thing I’ve seen from them since the “AI Prompt-a-Thon” contest they threw earlier in the year.

Can we just stop saying “bless you” or whatever?

Yes! That’s literally all we have to do to move toward ending the practice. I know several people who don’t say it at all due to being areligious. I don’t acknowledge every sneeze, either. I’ve never encountered anyone getting offended by it.

It’s not on the same level of courtesy as “please” and “thank you” after all. Those words still have obvious use, but responding to an involuntary reaction of another person’s body feels more “rude” to me than saying nothing.

It feels weird at first, but the more we stop responding, the more normal it will become.

This is a good call and it’s refreshing to see a police chief trying to enforce something sensible.

At the same time, I don’t have high hopes of US police being able to correctly identify and react to “unlawful force.” They sure don’t stop themselves or their colleagues when they use it against a minority, but they’re expected to intervene when ICE does it?

My car’s radio busted last year. Instead of replacing it with a modern touchscreen, or paying $3000 for a manufacturer replacement, I’ve simply gone without it. Thing is, the radio includes the back-up camera screen. It also contains the controls to the car’s clock. So half the year the time is off by an hour, and I’ve gotten used to backing up my car “the old fashioned way.”

Thankfully, none of these are issues I can’t tolerate. But it does make me wonder what would’ve happened if I’d had a newer car. If so many functions can rely on a radio, how many more functions might somebody get screwed out of if this same issue were to happen in a newer vehicle?

Or we’re adults who still haven’t quite figured out how to properly and appropriately wrap long spaghetti around a fork. 30+ years on in life, and I still end up dropping noodles and wearing sauce splatters when I try.

In b4 someone comes along and says sKiLL iSsuE. Yes, it is a skill and it is an issue. It’s also why I prefer rotini, or other small pastas.

In fact I’m starting to think I should just use chopsticks with spaghetti, as I have no problem eating ramen and lo mein that way.

Sounds like we’d get along. I like to say I’m fascinated by everything, except sports and celebrities. (Though I do have a fondness for certain voice actors in US animation, simply by consuming so much of the medium.) As to fashion, modern fashion isn’t interesting, but historical fashion is pretty cool. I didn’t think I’d be into historical architecture until I inadvertently took a class that included it in high school.

I get that, for my parents’ generation at least. But I’m the weirdo autistic chick that lives multiple “alternative lifestyles” simultaneously.

I don’t go to the church I was baptized in, because I’m atheist. I don’t eat the food my culture cooks, because I’m vegan. I’m a pansexual who practices polyamory. I don’t share my parents’ values, nor those of my ancestral culture.

Which is partly why I gel better with people who don’t share the “dominant” culture around us (in the US.) I get along with others who’ve been marginalized, who don’t “fit in,” who want to burn down capitalism have been on the “outside” for so long that we share a common bond through it. Most people I’ve dated have either been born in other countries and/or have disabilities. It makes sense for me, but from the outside it’s easy to imagine that my mom thinks I’m still “rebelling” somehow (while deep into my 30s.)

My mom refuses to admit that she’s racist.

Oh, but when I brought a black man home, she asked me afterwards, “Why do all your boyfriends have… a tan?”

Don’t worry, I let it out on her. I’m practically 100% Slavic if my brother’s DNA test is to be trusted (it lines up with the family tree I’ve got, so yeah.) I asked if she’d rather I marry a “nice Polish boy” that I have nothing in common with, like she did, like her sisters did, like her mother did. Because why should personal compatibility matter so long as our ancestries are the same?

She backed off and hasn’t made a peep about my “tan” partners ever since.

I asked this same question to my older coworkers back when I was 20. The main answer I got was: travel, travel, travel! “Travel before you have kids.” “Travel before you start a long-term career.” “Travel before you buy a house.”

Naturally, being a Millennial, all three of those things became non-issues. 🙃

So let me give some advice for the ages instead, regardless of what the future may hold for you:

• Never stop learning

• It’s okay to not know what you want to do with life

• And, especially in a post-truth, AI-infested world, question everything!

Take the time to learn what logical fallacies are (at least the common ones.) You WILL encounter them, and knowing when you or someone else is using faulty logic can keep you from harm, whether it be from another person (like what we see in politics) or from yourself (like the “Sunk Cost Fallacy,” which might otherwise lead you to stick with bad jobs, bad relationships, and more.)

Tangentially, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Nobody knows everything. Anyone who expects you to know any given thing (unless you’re known to have studied it, of course) isn’t someone worth the admiration of. People with realistic expectations will see you as genuine, and being genuine can carry you far.

I could probably think of more if given the time, but those are the most important things off the top of my head. I’m open to questions in the comments; I’ve lived quite a peculiar life, so I’ve got a range of experiences, from being a homeless vandweller, to being a pilot, to pivoting 90° to working with kids and making art. I’m more than happy to answer any questions that might help people out!

Unrelated, I just want to fist bump, fellow gamer girl!

That’s interesting about Steam. Steam purchases used to flag my card so much, I ended up telling my bank, “If a purchase goes through Steam, IT’S ME. I don’t have kids, I don’t share my card with anyone. Just let the purchase through. It’s fine.”

I don’t know why Steam in particular kept setting off red flags for them, but damn it was frustrating that they’d lock my card every time I wanted a new game. I mean, I know I should probably not give in to the temptation so much, but my Steam library is bare bones compared to those of other people I know. I’m an adult and if I want to spend my money on games that make me happy, let me do that!

This happened to me just last week! I just got a new apartment and had just paid my first month’s rent and my security deposit. Then the next day, I went to get some supplies for my new place. Card declined.

Tried again. Card declined.

Called the number on my card. It was “after hours” and the person picking up the phone couldn’t do a damn thing for me. They suggested I’d hit a “spending limit,” but they couldn’t tell me for certain, couldn’t tell me how much that limit was, and couldn’t make my card usable again. Absolutely pointless, why even answer the phone?

Moments after, I got a call from the automated “fraud alert” service. But it was useless too, as it glitched out (made an annoying sound and didn’t respond to anything I said), then hung up on me.

Thank goodness, I was able to simply call that fraud alert number back, verify recent transactions, and my card became usable again. (I was worried it’d be one of those lines that calls you, but that you can’t call back.)

I get that my credit union is trying to protect me, but damn. At least make it so the people answering the number on the card can DO something to help!

That’s also possible. I like your phrasing much better.

Years before my dog passed, I sat in my bed, with her at my feet, and thought about the days she’d be gone.

I started crying. Then the little sweetheart did what little sweethearts do - she came up to me, snuggled me, and gave me kisses.

I held her and let it imprint into my mind.

When she did pass years later, I thought about that night and how she did her best to comfort me. I imagined her still doing that, if she had been here.

Her passing wasn’t easy, but having known how she reacted when I’d already thought about it made the time easier. I know she didn’t want me to be sad. She wanted to make me happy and be a supportive friend. Even in death, I could recall that one night and remember her sweetness trying to pick me up.

To this day, I carry some of her ashes in a necklace over my heart. She used to want to follow me everywhere. Now she always will.