Moved up to the “Big City” in October. Today I was fired by a woman with a smile on her face.
My biggest complaints were being isolated from my peers, not having enough work to do, and not receiving feedback on my work performance directly.
I was accused of working outside of scope, not being able to separate my personal feelings from work, and not responding to doctors in a timely fashion. No specific or documented instances of any of these accusations were provided to me.
So now I’m alone, in a way more expensive city, with about the same amount it cost to move here left in the bank.
I think I’m done with healthcare. As a trans person, working inside of it is fucking awful, especially in large hospital organizations. I don’t think it helps I graduated from nursing school in 2020.
What now? This was my dream job, at an organization (I thought) had their shit together. It was a nightmare on the inside - no support, no community. Call staff couldn’t “handle” trans patients, so we have to call a separate line that might have someone call you back.
I came up with so many ideas, ways to improve, best practices we aren’t following. Patients getting dead named and misgendered in charts, at the pharmacy, to their face. Asleep in the OR during surgery.
I’ve never been more confused about a job ending. I literally said I would do anything, work overtime, adapt my style, learn 6 different specialties, anything I could to help.
They never even listened to me. Why did they bring me all this way just to ignore me?
The worst part, I think, is that I don’t know if I will ever really trust another human the same way. I thought this was a safe place where I could talk openly about what was deficient, and how to alleviate that. But I did that, and they didn’t want to hear it, and now I’m on my own again.
I really thought we could build something truly special. I guess I’m just disappointed I’ll never get a chance to see what that could have been.
I’m really sorry you were put through that. In my experience hospitals are very power hierarchy-centric workplaces and physicians and administrators are very cishet and very privileged, leaving ample room for discrimination. This is probably a pretty stark contrast to the values that led you to pursue nursing.
You were unjustly discriminated against, but you have a good degree. My encouragement would be to try to lick your wounds and find another nursing job. I’ve heard nurses say that primary care settings are better jobs than hospitals, and public health nursing sounds neat too. If you can get a role in a service dedicated to caring for transpeople, might that be the dream, dream job?
Rooting for you <3
I thought this was a safe place where I could talk openly about what was deficient, and how to alleviate that. But I did that, and they didn’t want to hear it
It’s called shitty middle management.
A good manager wants to hear about problems, because well, they just don’t experience those problems first-hand, yet would probably want to solve them.
It does sound like some of your suggestions were maybe too idealistic, and not $$$ enough, but a decent manager would let you in on the finances to show why this isn’t in budget.
Even a mediocre manager would just tell you ‘no’.
It’s only shitty managers, who don’t want to solve problems, who don’t want to hear about problems, and will therefore shoot down the messenger.I don’t think it helps the manager I reported to doesn’t work with trans patients, and I only saw her when I needed something (like an IT request). Definitely put her subconscious interpretation of me as “someone needy”.
The good news is that nursing is a pretty in-demand field, so hopefully that will help you find something while you figure out your next move.
Also apply for unemployment, even if you think you aren’t eligible. It can be a lifesaver in times like this.
I’ve had more shitty experiences with supposed dream jobs than I even care to recount. I’m sorry you endured it–it’s not fun. In fact, it can be downright gutting when you’ve defined yourself in some way by your role/job. Sometimes I didn’t even realize I’d done that until the job was gone and it felt like everything was gone for awhile. I hope you find something that makes you happier next go 'round, but don’t get discouraged if it takes a few tries, like a relationship or anything else.
Good luck!
If you’re in the states, absolutely file for unemployment and contact an employment lawyer. Depending on your state it’s entirely possible your employer fucked up.
Have an appointment tomorrow. Don’t know if it constitutes legal discrimination, but I’m almost tempted to bring it even if it’s not a slam dunk. They care so much about reputation a lawsuit would hurt them more than I ever could.
Depending on where you live, please report them to the (if there are any) relevant authorities for discriminatory business practices and discrimination in healthcare. What you’re describing is definitely illegal in many places. It also sounds like you may have grounds for wrongful dismissal, but that depends a lot on where you live, and depending on the legal routes available to you can involve hefty costs. I understand being unable to do that or not wanting to.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You tried your best to help marginalized people and were punished cruelly for it. I can only imagine how horrifying and heartbreaking this experience was for you. You did your best. It’s not your fault. Try and take a few days and talk to friends and family and see what your options are. Maybe there are other options in the healthcare industry for you, or maybe it would be worthwhile to move on and pursue something else. I’ve been fired a few times before, even at jobs I thought I was excelling at for bullshit reasons. It can feel crushing and impossible. It’s all about moving at a steady pace and giving your head and your heart time to catch up with the loss of it and the changes it’s going to mean for you. My heart goes out to you and I hope everything works out ❤️
Thank you. Already had a meeting scheduled with a lawyer tomorrow.
I just wanted to do some good. I didn’t even get a chance to pass off my patients.
You gave it a shot, and you did the best that you could. It sucks, but clearly it wasn’t really the dream that it was made out to be. Regardless of what comes next, you’ve touched more lives than you realize for the better.
You’ve been through worse, you’ve got this. And one day you’ll trust people a little bit more again. They’re still awful, but a few are tolerable.
I’m not sure what big city you’re in but Rush hospital in Chicago would love to have you I think. It’s where I got my surgery done.
That’s sucks! I don’t know anything about anything but if you relocated for a job and they fired you within a certain time period depending on where you are located, you may be entitled to financial compensation. I’d contact your local labor board. Also if you feel like you were fired due to discrimination you should contact your local labor board and see if they’ll arrange an attorney for you as well. Sometimes crappy things aren’t so crappy in hindsight. I’m sure though it doesn’t feel like it now and I’m annoying AF saying it, down the line you’ll find yourself better off and grateful things worked out this way. It sounds like you got your foot in the door of an industry you want to work in, but these people, this environment, was not your dream job. It is relevant experience towards your dream job, though. Keep the dream alive!
Healthcare is in high demand, and the work environment in two hospitals can be night and day. There were times that I felt completely defeated and felt that no matter what I did, I could never succeed. It took me having to leave my dream city and move back home before I really got my career started.
The world is filled with people willing to throw you under the bus, but it’s also filled with wonderful, supportive people.
Take a moment to recoup. You’ll bounce back.
Take this as a learning experience. Approach your work with professionalism, not passion. Keep your head down, complete your job duties, and go home. The time+place for pitching ideas is only when you’re asked by someone higher up.
It sucks, but that’s how you stay employed and climb the ladder. Crushing passions for the American dream.
Not that what you’re saying isn’t true, but I don’t really know if we should promote complacency in the face of discrimination in the workplace? OP has already expressed their pursuit of legal action against the people who discriminated against them.
I’ve clawed my way from homelessness to the top 10%, and it took me way too many times in OP’s shoes to learn that the best way to get ahead in one’s career is to get in line. That leaves plenty of time and energy outside of the workplace to pursue passions and try to change the world to become a better place. Work is just a means to afford that.
Now a chunk of my income every month goes directly to an organization that helps local transfolks get access to HRT and other gender-affirming care. That’s far more impactful than anything I could have hoped to accomplish in my workplace.
Succeed in work first, then succeed in life.
Welcome to the current workforce environment in most large businesses.
This goes for everyone no matter their background.
I’m sorry this happened and I’m trans so Ive certainly noticed how tough healthcare settings are for me, just getting basic care and being a family member. It does sound like you are so invested in this job, just absolutely obsessed with it. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of this kind of excited mover and shaker type person in healthcare. From what Ive heard, it’s more militaristic - stay within your role, follow the chain of command. Follow the medical and legal protocol or your superior is getting called, whom is actually responsible for all of your actions. Nightmare on the inside sounds familiar.
maybe a different country with a completely different medical bureaucracy would be better for you?
It’s not exactly easy to move to another country.
Doubly so, because my nursing certification is an associate level. Everywhere I looked requires a Bachelors.
That’s awful. :(
That’s such bullshit.
My mom was extremely bitter about some of her experiences as a hospital nurse, certain hospitals had a lot of internal politics and backstabbing that went on. Smile to your face and stab you in the back? Oh yes. Can’t remember if she left or was let go, but it didn’t end well.
I guess that’s true in most fields. Hopefully you won’t let a handful of assholes ruin your desire to make the world better.
Though if you do, I can’t blame you. I left engineering and software dev forever, after becoming very disillusioned and finding I truly didn’t much care for the people or the work. Not at all what I had envisioned.
