• Vespair@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    The sophistication and poise that can come with age is more attractive to me

    There are sophisticated 20 year olds and there boorish 60 year olds.

    The dichotomy you describe isn’t real, it’s projected onto these women.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      There are sophisticated 20 year olds and there boorish 60 year olds.

      Hence the word ‘can.’

      The dichotomy you describe isn’t real, it’s projected onto these women.

      Poise and sophistication is something that often comes with age regardless of gender.

      • Vespair@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Poise and sophistication is something that often comes with age regardless of gender.

        Relative poise and sophistication. Nobody exists in a vacuum, and while yes I do agree that people generally progress and refine themselves as they age, there are hundreds of other factors that I would argue are vastly more relevant than age. It’s not hard to find a 20 year old from a nurturing environment or conversely a 20 year old who survived difficult and grounding circumstances either of which may display vastly more sophistication and poise than a spoiled 60 year old raised in comfort and wealth who never had to challenge any of their expectations.

        While some trend might exist between the two things, a) I think it’s wildly overblown, b) it’s nowhere near absolute enough to establish rules based upon it, and c) regardless it’s an aside from what you claim to be after anyway. If you want a partner with sophistication and poise, then seek one with those qualities, don’t just project them onto him/her/them because you assume they should have them based on age. If you’ve got a craving for apple you shouldn’t pick up a pomegranate just because you know the food you like is colored red.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          This is the second time you have accused me of projecting. Where is your evidence that I am projecting anything onto anyone?

          • Vespair@lemm.ee
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            10 months ago

            To be honest I thought we were sort of discussing in generalities rather than intending any of it to read as directed at you personally. I apologize, I wasn’t attempting to accuse you specifically of anything. I meant we, as a society, project these ideas, and to go further I’ll admit it’s sloppy word choice as what I mean is I guess more closely “presume to have” rather than “project.” Again, I did not mean any specific insult or accusation to be directed at you and apologize for presenting my point in a way that could be read as such.