Bernard: “What if the Prime Minister insists we help them?”

Humphrey: “Then we follow the four-stage strategy.”

Bernard: “What’s that?”

Richard: “Standard Foreign Office response, in a time of crisis. In stage one, we say nothing is going to happen.”

Humphrey: “In stage two we say something may be going to happen, but we should do nothing about it.”

Richard: “In stage three, we say that maybe we should do something about it, but there’s nothing we can do.”

Humphrey: “In stage four, we say maybe there was something we could have done, but it’s too late now…”