As described here, calling someone trans when they themselves donāt identify that way is problematic, since you are imposing a gender on that person.
Reinforcing gender stereotypes and misgendering others is not the kind of thought that should be shared out loud. Like people might have horrible intrusive thoughts but if and when they recognize them for what they are they will let them pass without acting on or speaking them.
I used to and still on occasion have intrusive thoughts that are transphobic but I know not to speak them because they are hurtful and untrue. You need to do the same with your idea that people are trans because of appearance of clothing, just let the thoughts pass or stuff them down, and not speak them out loud. You wouldnāt act on intrusive thoughts you know to be harmful. This isnāt much different.
You are, saying that you think people are trans because theyād āgo all out n womenās clothesā is indeed reinforcing gender stereotypes, and it is misgendering to say that people who donāt identify as trans are trans.
Now Iām being diagnosed with intrusive thoughts? lol
Youāre right, I was too charitable. You donāt have intrusive thoughts, but straight up harmful ideas that you openly admit to and act upon, especially since youāre still going and havenāt gotten the message that what youāre doing or saying is uncool and needs to stop.
Donāt argue that dressing a certain way makes someone trans or makes them seem trans. This idea blatantly reinforces gender stereotypes because it assumes that a certain threshold of gender non-conformity changes or is indicative of a different gender, this is toxic as fuck.
By the way I dress as feminine or more feminine than the last panel, very often might I add. I am more than certain that I am indeed 100% a boy.
Also before someone says it, yes, one can still be a femboy if they choose to take estrogen. I know femboys who do, theyāre still boys and will absolutely remind you if you forget or try and insist they arenāt. Some might ask how is that possible? Answer, because they identify and call themselves boys. Simple as that. You canāt decide someone elseās gender for them, no matter the circumstances.
one can still be a femboy if they choose to take estrogen
I would like to learn more about this, do they have dysphoria? do they want to be girly all the time or only some of the time? Are they taking E permanently or are they planning on mixing E and T like some nonbinary people do?
sorry if these are too personal, I live in a conservative area and havenāt ever seen a femboy IRL, much less talking to one about what itās like, so I donāt really understand. Also if you have any resources that youād recommend me read id be more than happy to look into it :)
edit: to clarify, Iām not the person who was arguing. I just wanted to learn from your experiences while reading the thread
I think itās a little different for each of them, I know some femboys do have dysphoria and take it full time, I also know that some mix it or take lower doses like Nonbinary people do. Itās different for each of them, not all femboys are the same, just like not all trans and nonbinary people are the same. How they feel and whatās best for each of them depends on the person.
It is extremely wrong to say that cross-dressing makes a person trans, and it is offensive to call other people trans who donāt identify as such because it is literally misgendering them. Trying to argue that cross-dressing is āunder the trans umbrellaā is just a roundabout way of trying to say they are trans without directly saying it and youāre not fooling anyone with these deceitful tactics.
You like, really need to drop this because youāve already been given the hint to stop and you keep going.
Itās not offensive, itās just incorrect? Someone dressing as a woman but they identify as a man is still a man? They donāt face the same prejudice and discrimination as trans people so they arenāt trans people?
A femboy posted a meme about femboys. You came in and tried to tell him that actually, some of those femboys are trans women based on their appearance.
This was a misstep, but thatās OK, because mistakes happen and peopleās understanding of gender diverse folk is often limited.
He then told you about his direct lived experience as a fem boy that contradicted your opinions. At this point, instead of listening to folk who are talking about their own experiences, you got offended and started arguing.
At this point, youāre simply out of line. Arguing with folk about their own experiences, whilst not even sharing those experiences.
This isnāt an argument about when itās ok to assume and when it isnāt. This is a case of you assuming, being corrected, and then trying to turn it in to a debate.
And to be clear, Iām not simply asking you to stop, Iām asking you to consider what happened, acknowledge you fucked up, and then stop.
I hate to say it but I think that person is a troll, after their last few replies I checked their modlog history and they seem to have engaged in very similar behavior before. The only reason they āstoppedā here is because they were given a community ban.
Removed by mod
Iām sure one would have a better idea than you whether theyāre trans or not regardless of clothing.
Removed by mod
As described here, calling someone trans when they themselves donāt identify that way is problematic, since you are imposing a gender on that person.
Removed by mod
Removed by mod
Reinforcing gender stereotypes and misgendering others is not the kind of thought that should be shared out loud. Like people might have horrible intrusive thoughts but if and when they recognize them for what they are they will let them pass without acting on or speaking them.
I used to and still on occasion have intrusive thoughts that are transphobic but I know not to speak them because they are hurtful and untrue. You need to do the same with your idea that people are trans because of appearance of clothing, just let the thoughts pass or stuff them down, and not speak them out loud. You wouldnāt act on intrusive thoughts you know to be harmful. This isnāt much different.
Removed by mod
You are, saying that you think people are trans because theyād āgo all out n womenās clothesā is indeed reinforcing gender stereotypes, and it is misgendering to say that people who donāt identify as trans are trans.
Youāre right, I was too charitable. You donāt have intrusive thoughts, but straight up harmful ideas that you openly admit to and act upon, especially since youāre still going and havenāt gotten the message that what youāre doing or saying is uncool and needs to stop.
Removed by mod
Donāt argue that dressing a certain way makes someone trans or makes them seem trans. This idea blatantly reinforces gender stereotypes because it assumes that a certain threshold of gender non-conformity changes or is indicative of a different gender, this is toxic as fuck.
By the way I dress as feminine or more feminine than the last panel, very often might I add. I am more than certain that I am indeed 100% a boy.
Also before someone says it, yes, one can still be a femboy if they choose to take estrogen. I know femboys who do, theyāre still boys and will absolutely remind you if you forget or try and insist they arenāt. Some might ask how is that possible? Answer, because they identify and call themselves boys. Simple as that. You canāt decide someone elseās gender for them, no matter the circumstances.
I would like to learn more about this, do they have dysphoria? do they want to be girly all the time or only some of the time? Are they taking E permanently or are they planning on mixing E and T like some nonbinary people do?
sorry if these are too personal, I live in a conservative area and havenāt ever seen a femboy IRL, much less talking to one about what itās like, so I donāt really understand. Also if you have any resources that youād recommend me read id be more than happy to look into it :)
edit: to clarify, Iām not the person who was arguing. I just wanted to learn from your experiences while reading the thread
I think itās a little different for each of them, I know some femboys do have dysphoria and take it full time, I also know that some mix it or take lower doses like Nonbinary people do. Itās different for each of them, not all femboys are the same, just like not all trans and nonbinary people are the same. How they feel and whatās best for each of them depends on the person.
oh ok, I see. Thanks for explaining! :)
Removed by mod
It is extremely wrong to say that cross-dressing makes a person trans, and it is offensive to call other people trans who donāt identify as such because it is literally misgendering them. Trying to argue that cross-dressing is āunder the trans umbrellaā is just a roundabout way of trying to say they are trans without directly saying it and youāre not fooling anyone with these deceitful tactics.
You like, really need to drop this because youāve already been given the hint to stop and you keep going.
deleted by creator
Removed by mod
Itās not offensive, itās just incorrect? Someone dressing as a woman but they identify as a man is still a man? They donāt face the same prejudice and discrimination as trans people so they arenāt trans people?
Removed by mod
You did get it wrong. The OP, a femboy who posted a meme about femboys, directly told you that you had it wrong.
Youāre still here arguing, and show no sign of being open to being corrected. Unless that changes soon, your time on this instance is up.
Removed by mod
A femboy posted a meme about femboys. You came in and tried to tell him that actually, some of those femboys are trans women based on their appearance.
This was a misstep, but thatās OK, because mistakes happen and peopleās understanding of gender diverse folk is often limited.
He then told you about his direct lived experience as a fem boy that contradicted your opinions. At this point, instead of listening to folk who are talking about their own experiences, you got offended and started arguing.
At this point, youāre simply out of line. Arguing with folk about their own experiences, whilst not even sharing those experiences.
This isnāt an argument about when itās ok to assume and when it isnāt. This is a case of you assuming, being corrected, and then trying to turn it in to a debate.
And to be clear, Iām not simply asking you to stop, Iām asking you to consider what happened, acknowledge you fucked up, and then stop.
I hate to say it but I think that person is a troll, after their last few replies I checked their modlog history and they seem to have engaged in very similar behavior before. The only reason they āstoppedā here is because they were given a community ban.