The Onion’s first headline needs to be:

“Oh Shit! It’s ALL true!”

Reassemble the MythBusters

Tulsi and Matt better start drinking BEER!

SecDef choice is meant to disrupt the military so it is not as effective.

Failed state?

“fiscal conservatism”

I remember when i thought they wanted balanced budgets.

Oh no! The Americans will have to say Stop! again.

No, but also this.

Yeah i gave the Trump and Musk one a listen in the interest of hearing what they are saying. Oof. Needs an independant real time fact checker. Bad.

There aren’t too many others getting much market share to voice other takes.

To be fair, chocolate milk comes from milk.

Milk comes from cows.

Most cows are at least partially brown, many 50% or more brown.

Conversly, albino cows constitute a small portion of the milk supply.

So it is, arguably, a correct statement.

Cartels will have nukes shortly after smaller countries with weak or bribable security forces have them.

They get to go to reeducation camp first!

A mandate of hate.

No Nancy. You and your DNC are wrong and that is why you lost the presidency, senate, and house.

Fake party.

No, not even close. Where did you even get Red Scare from? A soviet era propaganda textbook?

it was a new Pearl Harbor.

you obviously werent around for the flag waving and sticker epidemic that i was refering to.

Wages rising? No.

Salaries rising? A little.

Executive pay and bonuses? Huge.

And his cabinet is there to exploit the people. Just like the Postmaster. these people will destroy safety and fairness in America. It will be a cuthtroat nation.

They paid the most to Trump for the right to be in a positon to fleece the people the watythey want to. Pelosi on steroids.

Wow. Chamberlin’s ghost is shocked at that level of appeasement and cowardice.

Because J.D. Vance is going yo improve things?

Good joke.

Canada will need to build a giant moat of syrup.

It will drown americans attempting to cross after their diabetic coma hits and they submerge in a sugary tomb.

Like Titanic meets Wall-E.