It’s definitely like this. I don’t entirely mind it for myself, because it reminds me to log off before I can get into a doomscroll where I’m assailed by my family member’s awful opinions. I only use FB for marketplace/buy nothing groups, and the barrage of shitty ads/promo posts helps me log off as soon as I’ve found what I need (or have given up on finding what I need).

Thrifting is always best IMO. The selection depends on your location; I’ve noticed smaller, more rural areas tend to have better selections than suburban areas or cities. There’s also online thrifting through sites like thredup and vinted - obviously, your mileage may vary. I use FB marketplace to get home goods but I’m sure it’s good for getting local used clothes, too.

The area where I’m struggling is the fact that, to my knowledge, Lomi doesn’t actually make the organic matter “decompose” - which means, presumably, it would still decompose when disposed of, right?

I got mine when I moved (used as well - only 150 bucks!) because it became way less feasible to drop off my organic waste in my new city. It definitely drastically reduced the amount of trash I had to take out (as compared to just… throwing everything out), and reduced smelliness in the trash. If it does actually reduce methane emissions, then I would say it’s a great option. If it doesn’t… then, well, it probably cuts down on trash loads and things like that, but I’m not sure that it would otherwise be worth it.

I’ve seen some people unhappy with the end product in terms of using it in place of regular compost; I know their “lomi pods” are pretty much required if you want to use it for plants - so you’ll need to buy those (as well as filter replacements - although I’m pretty sure you can just use regular activated carbon pellets) - and it’s possible some people weren’t using those. Just something to keep in mind!

I think it’s a super complicated topic. My understanding of the quote is that ableism is much bigger and more complicated than language, but we should be aware of how our language reflects ableist views - like the normalization of ableist slurs into our everyday vernacular, for example. In other words, our society is so comfortable with ableism, that even disabled people and advocates for disability rights may use ableist terminology regularly, whether or not they’re aware of the origins.

I, personally, don’t believe that “lame” is necessarily a word that needs to be changed, but I do believe it’s a word with ableist origins. Like our conversation on “dumb”, IMO most people don’t think about the technical definition of “lame” anymore - but I might be wrong, or it might be regional. It’s ultimately a personal choice whether or not it feels hurtful - and obviously, if someone tells you to not use a term around them, that’s important to respect.

The key takeaway, to me, is that we should be mindful of how much ableism is normalized in our lives. I think you’re definitely doing that, based on this post. It doesn’t mean that using terms on this list is only ableist if you’re thinking negatively about disabled people when you use it; it means that we should be thoughtful with our language, but more importantly, thoughtful of how our words and actions may be reinforcing hurtful systems. To use the example from before - if someone doesn’t use the word “crazy” except when describing mentally ill people, that can speak to how they see mentally ill people as not just people who are ill, but as people who are undesirable boogeymen.

Take it on a case-by-case basis, IMO, and follow your gut if you feel shitty about certain words - better safe than sorry. But, at the end of the day, it’s just… complicated!

NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS NO STRAWS

The dentist will probably tell you everything you need to know, but after having spoken to someone who had 3 dry sockets due to using straws after removing her wisdom teeth, it feels like the most important point to drill in.

My partner had a lot of soylent, fruit/veg juice, soup, apple sauce after the procedure. Get some ice cream or a shake (WITH A SPOON) afterwards if you’re not nauseous - you deserve a treat. Apparently the weird ice from Sonic is really good when you get a tooth out, I’ve never had it lol. Good luck on your procedure, and don’t delay it!! Just get it over with so you never have to think about it again. You’re gonna be fine 💖

I’m not mute, but to me, using “dumb” to describe someone who is mute sounds… worse? It feels like the equivalent of recognizing that “crazy” has baggage and not using it in everyday speech, but continuing to use it to describe mentally ill people. I understand that it’s not a perfect comparison, but it feels like sometimes, words become too enmeshed in their modern-day insulting uses to feel okay using them to describe a community, even if it is the technical definition of the word.

If anyone who is mute/nonverbal/nonspeaking sees this and I’m wrong - please let me know!! I don’t mean to overstep, I just want to share my perspective.

The YA series Uglies will always be one of my favorites. I remember reading it as a tween and not knowing quite how to describe it; a friend called it a dystopian novel, which is true, but… it didn’t feel quite “right”, or at least, like the complete truth. The setting is utopian, bordering on solarpunk; no more worrying about climate change or overconsumption - we’ve fixed the climate, everything we own is infinitely recyclable in minutes, nature is healing! - the only thing we need to worry about is looking good at the party. But, it turns out, living in a society where the most important thing in the world is being beautiful - even if everyone is beautiful - is maybe… not great? Almost by design?

It was written to be a critique of plastic surgery, but I think there’s so much to dig into even as an adult in 2023. It probably lit a nice rebellious fire in teenage me, questioning authority and the seemingly unquestionable rules of the world. The relationships between the characters are still fascinating to me, and I’m still mesmerized by the beautiful, terrible world they live in. Even though the writing style is very simple to be easily digestible to early readers, the ideas the book explores are as complicated as you let them be. Surveillance, nature vs. nurture, institutionalized self-hatred, autonomy, sustainability, forced metamorphosis… there’s a lot to unpack.

Get some rest! Hopefully when you come back the mental load is lighter and things work out, but at the end of the day, none of this is more important than your health and well-being.

Hot take, but you don’t actually have to come out if you don’t feel like it. Or, you can come out in another way - for example, when the time comes, be like “hey, I have a [boy/girl/whatever applicable term]friend and I want you to meet them.” If you still want to be out but don’t feel like it right now, maybe wait a little bit and then come out to the people you’re most sure will respond well.

Good luck with your journey and I hope it goes better next time. Just remember to listen to your needs and not push yourself out of any sense of obligation.

Cucumber because I love cucumbers and zucchini doesn’t bring me that much joy

This is how I feel. I’d rather have things be fragmented than be too big to fail. A lot of people have joked in the past few years that it feels like the internet only has 4 sites on it now; I’m pretty happy to be back to browsing multiple. It reminds me of following multiple forums around the same topics back in the day. Variety is the spice of life!