master escape room idea: you’re in your bed and you have one hour to get out of bed, and there’s and eepy cutie in there with you who wants you to stay and cuddle more

i grew up in an abusive household too but thankfully it was never sexual or violent (although i guess im not counting all the spanking… with a wooden spoon…), but was absolutely emotionally abusive. its hard to describe to people how bad it was and how it made me feel. every failure was my fault and punishable according to the capricious whims of my dad, and every success was expected and served only to raise the bar for next time. i never knew for sure what would set him off and earn me some kind of punishment. sometimes it was obvious, not meeting some obligation i was aware of but couldnt meet because of how my brain works. sometimes i just violated some unspoken expectation i could never have known because i was never told. sometimes for no reason at all just because he was in a bad mood and i happened to be in view. sometimes, a lot of times actually, i got in trouble just for having feelings about things, positive or negative. i felt like all they really wanted was an obedient doll who stayed out of the way when they didnt want something from me.

the worst part of all of it was that everyone around me acted like it was my fault. i wanted to be good. i wanted to be safe. i wanted to trust and love my parents and live up to their expectations and for them to be proud of me. but it was impossible and that was my fault. i was bad. i was disobedient. i had a problem with authority. no one had to look for a reason for it to be my fault they just knew it was at a glance.

sometimes i feel like it would have been better if something worse happened, so at least i could show someone the evidence of my abuse. some major injury maybe. bruises. a broken limb. something. all i got was deep emotional scars that im still trying to work through and heal, 12 years after moving out of their house.

idk why i typed all this. i hope youre doing ok these days.

they originally asked for patient consent to be waived so they could do their study, then when denied went and got the data on a technicality and used it for their study anyway. fucking blatant skirting of ethics rules, to say nothing of their bigoted intent in the first place.

you can get better. i thought the same thing a few years ago when i finally started going to therapy. in the beginning it didnt feel like i was doing anything, like it wasnt working. i was so deep in masking, my maladaptive coping strategies, my numbness and fear. but slowly i started challenging myself to change, to address the ways i hurt myself to protect myself. ive learned a lot and changed a lot, and i sometimes even feel some hope that i can be a real person, and sometimes i even feel like i am. theres still so much to do but im getting better all the time.

its hard, and it hurts, and its so fucking scary to try to heal the parts of you deep inside that other people beat into submission, but you can do it. just one little step at a time.

just to check, have you read the rules of this community?

id like to be able to therapize myself and make progress resolving my traumas and maladaptive coping strategies more quickly. im tired of feeling fucked up and that becoming the problem of the people i care about :/

yet you self censored? put your fucking money where your fucking mouth is. fuck.

but yapping is how i bond with people 🥺

ive kinda felt guilt and shame about it for a long time, but sex has been a pretty consistent special interest of mine. ive been leaning into it unapologetically lately and have been happy to find people who arent put off by how into it i am, and even value my enthusiasm. its not nerdy in the traditional sense but theres so much to learn and improve at, and every partner has new and interesting depths to explore, so to speak. i even get to learn new things about myself in the process.

your brother is gonna love it on you almost as much as he loves it off you :3

i dont believe theres such a thing as enough cats. ones living situation may dictate that some amount is too much, but it always manages to fall far short of enough.

wooow youre only exploiting people slightly less than you could be? color me impressed. and benefits day one? how generous of you not forcing people to wait for health care that they may require to continue living. like i said, fuck the company.

fuck the business. they want fair treatment they can provide fair compensation.

men are not allowed to comment no

being a lesbian is cool. so much better than being a straight guy.

¿porque no los dos?

hey you should read the rules here

vaccines are great and awesome and i wish there were more and i could get them. no one is being forced against their will to get vaccinated. people who refuse for nonmedical reasons are a danger to others, directly, not in some hypothetical society might be better off way. just like someone else who brought up smoking which also harms others directly. they should be barred from certain places for not getting them yeah. that doesnt violate their bodily autonomy. they can choose not to they just wont be able to do certain things or go certain places because they are a danger to others. you can choose to smoke you just wont be allowed to do it where you will hurt people.

this is such a false equivalence argument its painful. cigarette smoke materially harms others directly. subjecting someone to your cigarette smoke violates their bodily autonomy unless they consent to breathe your second hand smoke and take on the associated harms. someone committing suicide doesnt harm anyone directly. youre saying them dying is bad for the people in their life because they support them so they should be pressured to stay alive and be actively prevented from dying so they can continue to provide benefit to others.

thats literally the argument pro lifers use against abortion. women revoking their material support of their unborn child in most cases leads to its death, so they argue women should be forced to carry it to term, violating their bodily autonomy. youre arguing the same thing for people who want to die. their life benefits others who may die or be worse off without them so they should be compelled to continue existing against their will.

fuck that. anyone who argues that position is on the slippery slope to supporting slavery. you dont get to sacrifice peoples bodily autonomy because it might be good for fucking society. youre fucking wrong and nothing you can say will convince me such a callous position is right. people have the right to die if they choose to, and people like you make exercising that right worse for everyone.

thats a pretty naive perspective that ignores the reality of suicide. people are going to do it anyway, whatever you or anyone else thinks. removing options for people in that situation just worsens the harm to people around them and society as a whole, because no one is prepared and they can only do it in an inconvenient place/way. its always a surprise that people have to deal with suddenly, rather than something with established procedures and norms. your position is basically “they shouldnt because its hard messy so we’ll make it really hard and messy to disuade them”. its a circular argument that serves no one.