Thats the fun part! With all this microplastics in our brains, anyone can be completely insane, and still elected president! I plan to run for president with the campaign slogan “Fuck you, everybody dies”.
I assume I’ll win by a landslide.
This is how I tried to extract my brother’s loose tooth as a kid.
Turns out I’m an only child now!
Whoopsie!
I can drink and suck dick
What are ya doing Friday night?
I wonder how many people will straight up cancel their PS+
What if…they hired Alex Jones, to play a character named Jones Alex, who does his whole show naked, except for a bowtie?
All the other stuff Tim had planned for the new show, Jones Alex can say. Same show, just evrn more absurd
So, it’s a peertube instance for musicians. But no violence or sexually explicit content.
So if a musician made a music video with a woman dancing in her underwear, which is very common in music videos, that artist wouldn’t be allowed.
Or any music video with a mosh pitt.
I’m not even a musician, but this sounds like a very restrictive platform that I would never choose.
Have you ever seen a Gallagher show? No? Don’t bother. It’s often racist bullshit, but for some reason he then hits a watermellon with a hammer to splash the audience.
No, I’m not leaving out context. Racist joke, hits watermellon, big laughs. He was popular in the 80s with the boomers. It was as stupid as it sounds, but it does give you a good idea how big the splash zone would be.
Welcome…to
…ok, I got nothin. Somebody make a Jurassic Park joke that’s witty.
I remember when I was 5 years old, my dad tried asking me the trolley problem.
So I took my train, and yelled at the G.I. Joes on my tracks “GET OFF THE TRAIN TRACKS, IDIOTS!!!” and ran them over. Then I backed the train up, switched tracks, and ran over spiderman. Then I yelled “FREE BONUS POINTS!!!”. Then I punched my dad in the balls, and ran upstairs giggling.
About a year ago my dad reminded me of that story. I’m in my 40s now. So I told him “I stand by that decision.”
"Its-a Me! Mario! AND LUIGI MOTHA FUC----- coin sound effect "
Hey, I’m a people! I’m behind Luigi! I’m proof of this!
They locked up an innocent man. Luigi didn’t do NOTHIN!
In 2017 there was a game called Splatoon. Without getting too into the weeds, just know it’s a first person shooter made for all ages. Two teams of 4 splat each other with ink, and try to win the game.
They also had things call splatfests. You pick a team for the weekend, and every win you get helps your team in the long weekend war known as a Splatfest.
Well they had “Team Ketchup (is better than Mayo)” and “Team Mayo (is better than Ketchup)”
I picked team Ketchup. Unfortunately for north America, Team Mayo won. Team Ketchup won the popular vote by a landslide (I think it was like 70% if I remember right), but the solo battles, and team battles were close, but awarded to Mayo.
Still, I stand by Team Ketchup.
Or as Americans call it, America.
That makes sense, right? We changed The gulf of Mexico to The gulf of America, so naturally that means you have Canada to the north. The united states of America in the middle, and America (formerly Mexico) to the south.
And all of this on the continent known as North America. Which just above South America.
Earth is stupid.
In minecraft potatos are like SUPER spreadable. You plant 1 potato, you get like 3 back. Then you plant 3 potatos and before long you have a whole potato farm!
Uh-oh! Look out! If you aren’t careful, you’ll end up being Irish. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it is a real risk when dealing with potatos. Thats how that works.
I’ve lost my penis in the war. I’d like an exact replica prostetic please! That’s right, 12 inches, thick as a beer can. I said exact replica after all!
Oh, and since it’s prostetic anyways, maybe we can build it with vibration, and led gamer lights? Oooh! Ooh!!! And make it shoot off fireworks! And make a laser light show that reacts to music!!!
What? I said exact replica! My penis could do all this already!
Oh…yeah, that makes way more sense then my first thought. I thought it was like a cult thing with aliens. And by aliens I don’t mean humans from a different country. I mean creatures from another planet.
I thought Zion was some alien, and Zionism was the cult religion around it.
Contextually though, your way makes way more sense.
Have you HAD Mcdonalds lately?
These fast food companies year after year after year report a drop in sales from the previous year.
And it’s fucking stupid.
When I was a teenager in the 90s, I had an addiction to Mcdonalds fries. A literal addiction. I would order 6 of the supersize fries. I would do this multiple times a day, everyday.
Last Friday, I tried ordering McDonalds for the first time since that whole rick and morty sechwan sauce thing.
What I got were sad thin flavorless strips of potato. I cannot imagine trying to explain to a teenager today that I used to be addicted to these. These aren’t the same fries that I used to know.
They report a 6% drop in 2025 compared to 2024. In 2024 I remember they announced a drop from 2023. It’s been dropping since at least the pandemic.
And here’s the reason why.
These companies keep asking “How can we make more profit?” And the answer keeps being “cut costs” and “raise prices”.
Well, yeah, I can see the cut costs. These fries are thinner. They don’t taste as good. They don’t have the crunch I used to know. I didn’t even get a super long fry, or a mushy fry!
And the chicken nuggets were also bland and tasteless. They were half the size as I remember. These were like thin scraps of a chicken nugget. The breading was worse too.
So I’m paying 3x the amount to get get portions that are half the size I remember, with none of the flavor, and somehow end up waiting 20 minutes.
Cool, cool, cool, cool. I don’t think I want to ever go to McDonalds again. They obviously can’t figure out why sales are dropping, and refuse to sell a fast product that tastes good for cheap.
So why would I want it?
I will however eat these apples.