Straightforward: my 29-year-old son is dating a 16-year-old girl he met at a jazz festival this summer. Openly. He had a same age long-term girlfriend until last year, when they broke up amicably. We really loved her, she was basically our daughter-in-law and we’re still in touch. His current girlfriend’s parents know about their relationship & are cool with it. For the record: it’s also legal in our country. We don’t think it’s right though, he’s a grown ass man while she’s a high schooler. He’s also very successful professionally, handsome, takes good care of himself, has a good personality, etc. so it’s not like he’s lacking options. He just says he likes her - that’s his why. He’s not a bad person, I know that, but still this whole situation has changed our perception of him quite a bit. We’re having a rough time to say the least.
The issue is she’s too young to have enough experience to know better. “Fall in love” required you knowing what that is. They fell into lust at best at that festival, and he persued her. They are in totally different level of experience and she can’t be experienced enough to know what should be expected in case she’s being taken advamtage of.
How can you decide that for her? You know nothing about her except for what OP shared through that very biased introduction. I know 30+ year old people who have worse critical judgement and life skills than a 12 yo, age doesnt automatically grant you that.
Im not saying it should be ignored, but as long as it is illegal and there is no ill intent on either side there is no basis for interfering.
Her brain is not developed enough yet. Its not just some conservative opinion, it’s a scientific fact that her brain is not as developed.
Its also a fact that she has a fraction of the life experiences. She can’t know what things should be like because she has no experience.
Another fact is that they’re in different places in life. She’s still working on being a student, and he’s working on his career. They don’t have any life they can share in common.
Get out of here with your “ephebophilia is ok” shit. It isn’t.
Yes, the brain is not fully developed until 25. Are you saying relationships before 25 should be banned?
Absolutely no one knows what things should be like. Living a longer life does not magically grant you critical judgement or wisdom
That applies to most couples. An easy example which was very prominent for most of humanities history is housewifes staying at home while husbands went to work. Did that prevent them from having a working relationship?
This has probably nothing to do with ephebophiloa. You have absolutely no evidence of him being attracted to her specifically because of her age and OPs description does not suggest so either. It is really disturbing how people here all reduce a person just kn their age. Why does being with a younger person automatically mean that this single aspect is what moticated the relationship? If you are with an overweight person, does it mean you have an obesity fetish? If you are with a small person, does it mean you are only attracted to small people? That is so prejudiced.
I think you are looking for contra arguments while already being set on the premise of such a relationship being wrong in every single case, instead of approaching it from a neutral stance arguing for both sides.
I never said relationships between 29yo and 16yo are good in general. Most would be problematic statistically. But given this current instance, it is legal and there do not seem to be any signs of abuse or ill intent. Based on that, I dont understand why people are judging it based only on the age difference.
Yeah, and Epstein only sold sex with children because they were really mature and actually had great personalities!
Okay now you are just desperate. I never said there are no pedophiles or sexual predators, you are strawmanning. Epstein is your argument against the relationship of two specific, completely unrelated people? Then ‘OJ killed his wife’ is my argument against your relationship, so break up.