I agree. That’s true with friends sometimes too though. It took my former best friend conning my mom out of $400, presumably to buy drugs, to get me to cut him out of my life. He did a lot of shitty things before that, but he was also best man at my wedding and my first friend in middle school after spending an entire year with no friends (I came from a tiny private elementary school and everyone was still hanging out with their elementary school friends). It really hurt, but it was necessary.
Recently, just out of curiosity, I looked him up. He had a record a mile long and is currently in prison until December for meth possession with intent to sell. He is (or probably was at this point) an incredibly smart person who was going to make a living doing things like conducting orchestras and composing classical music. He taught himself multiple foreign languages while in college for music composition. And that’s where he ended up. Just depressing.
And yeah, for a long time I felt like I owed him. I don’t anymore and I don’t miss him either.
(Weirdly, he was one of two friends of mine who were undoubtedly geniuses when they were young who went to prison because of meth. The other guy had a mobile meth lab on him. I’m still friends with him though because he’s never done anything shitty to me.)
That’s rough, and a highly unenviable decision to make. Sad to see someone like that squander their gifts. People like that deserve to use their talents, but as they say in the fateful scene of the unforgiven: ‘deserves got nothing to do with it…’
That includes your parents. And I say that as a parent.
You owe your parents nothing.
They owe you everything. They are responsible for your existence.
If they’re assholes, cut them out of your life.
Easier said than done. Guilt is a powerful motivator
I agree. That’s true with friends sometimes too though. It took my former best friend conning my mom out of $400, presumably to buy drugs, to get me to cut him out of my life. He did a lot of shitty things before that, but he was also best man at my wedding and my first friend in middle school after spending an entire year with no friends (I came from a tiny private elementary school and everyone was still hanging out with their elementary school friends). It really hurt, but it was necessary.
Recently, just out of curiosity, I looked him up. He had a record a mile long and is currently in prison until December for meth possession with intent to sell. He is (or probably was at this point) an incredibly smart person who was going to make a living doing things like conducting orchestras and composing classical music. He taught himself multiple foreign languages while in college for music composition. And that’s where he ended up. Just depressing.
And yeah, for a long time I felt like I owed him. I don’t anymore and I don’t miss him either.
(Weirdly, he was one of two friends of mine who were undoubtedly geniuses when they were young who went to prison because of meth. The other guy had a mobile meth lab on him. I’m still friends with him though because he’s never done anything shitty to me.)
That’s rough, and a highly unenviable decision to make. Sad to see someone like that squander their gifts. People like that deserve to use their talents, but as they say in the fateful scene of the unforgiven: ‘deserves got nothing to do with it…’