I’ve spent some time reflecting yesterday and I realized that. When people want you to be confident they don’t want you to be actually confident, they want you to pretend you are. It is idiotic and makes no sense, but it explains a lot of situations in which I behaved the wrong way.
confidence to me means the opposite of that. it means questioning your asssumptions, approaching things from a different angle, reflect, recalculate, asking for a second opinion. Because I’ll end up with greater confidence that my assertions are more truthful. But apparently doing all that makes people think I’m insecure. Shit!
I have seen a issues where not just nt’s but people in general have a hard time with cause and effect and those type of relationships. You should be confident in something because its worth trusting. Being confident wouldn’t make the thing worth trusting because it doesn’t work both ways. I know someone who programs in java and writes TERRIBLE code but he thinks he writes good code. His confidences in his code makes the issues worse because telling him the fix is hard when he thinks his code is perfect even when its completely broken. I know other people like that…