I’ve also seen “we’re adults, so lets just move on and not defederate/ban”

I’m not talking about defederation. Anyone wants to defederate, go right ahead, that’s your right here, and I’m not too interested in getting upset at anyone that wants to do so. That being said, talking about defederation decisions and policies at a general level is also important because of the relationship admins have over users … though here on lemmy we’re pretty happy having multiple accounts and moving around so it isn’t so much of an issue.

These users will brigade, follow you around, harass you, post objectionable memes and content,

Woah … I haven’t seen that, do you have links/receipts on that?

I suggest you spend your time preaching to the group that actually can’t handle being disagreed with

I presume you’re talking about tankies … what do you mean by “can’t handle”?