I’m in my early thirties and adamantly childfree. I’m lucky enough to be in a long-term relationship with someone who brought up her desire to be childfree on more or less our first date. But I am not having too much luck with my friends from childhood and university - they all seem to be wanting kids, and learning of their pregnancies leaves me with a feeling of sadness. I don’t hate kids and think no one should have them, and I am happy for them if they truly wanted this, but I also know what them having kids will mean - we are essentially putting our friendship on hiatus, and I still don’t know whether waiting 10 years for the kids to be a bit more independent and not requiring as much attention will mean I suddenly have friends again, but somehow I very much doubt it. And I also don’t want 10 years without other friends than my girlfriend. She is in very much the same situation, and while we are good at making the best out of not having kids and stressing about having them, we both would want to be able to hang out with good friends once in a while, both common between us, but also some that are exclusive to each of us.
My assumption is that this is quite common - so I am hoping someone would like to share some success stories in turning this situation around. :)
I have a friend who has one kid and another on the way. At this point for traveling. He worked out a deal with his wife that he can travel on a big trip once a year until the kids get older. Before he had kids we would typically go on large backpacking trips multiple times a year.
I’ve noticed so far that it’s mainly scheduling. If you can get something written into their calendar. Then the kids don’t need to come along. Depending on the parents of course. In my experience if I can talk to my friend and sit down and pick a date and get onto the calendar. Then he can typically go on more smaller trips. Allowing him and his wife to plan for grandparents to come and support while he’s gone.
But if the parents aren’t into that. There’s nothing you can really do.