I do like large gatherings, but I don’t really do well meeting people and making friends in them. I find it too chaotic and difficult to “be myself” with so many people. I also feel there tends to be more shallow conversation in these settings making it great for banter and social energy but less great for connecting and getting to know new folks.
I am looking to meet new people to be friends, as in capital F friend, not just a random person I know. Someone who wants to hit me up and go do something fun, check in on me and see how I’m doing, etc.
How do you go about meeting people and finding social settings that foster deeper connections?
Small gatherings! I joined a gaming group on meetup that averages 3-8 people a week. It’s not required that you go every week, so there’s usually a unique mix of people. Board game groups seem to be the millennial version of going to the bar every Friday.
I’m glad you brought this up. So my brother tried this and had limited success with it, which made me dismiss the thiught. I love the idea but I’m worried because I like board games but I’m not a “nerd” with them. Do you think I would fit in if I was more of a casual board gamer?
That’s totally fine 😊 In my group, there’s a small handful who are really into games and buy everything. They pick up lots of games from Etsy and Kickstarter that no one’s heard of before and teach us how to play. Last week it was Wizard Kittens which took maybe 5 minutes to learn.
The most important thing though when trying to make friends is accepting failure. Instead of automatically dismissing it, just try it out and see whether or not it’s worth your time. Even if you find out it’s not for you, there may be someone there who can direct you towards a different hobby.
I’d suggest trying to get involved with social aspects of hobbies. Some hobby stores can have regulars. There are often local groups or events posted on sites like meetup. Another thing is taking a class which might be about a hobby or as a way to start a hobby.
There might also just be social settings that don’t have large crowds. If you happen to be religious interact with that community more.
Interacting with people doesn’t mean they’ll turn into a friend but the key to forming a friendship is regular positive interactions. All actual friends are going to start off with “someone you just know”.
As a side it could help to manage your social battery a bit. Personally working from home has done wonders for me.
