This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hot_Cup_621 on 2023-07-31 19:21:21.

I (36F) lost my mom very suddenly. Still struggling to accept the reality of it and trying to work through funeral arrangements with my siblings. She grew up with a very abusive stepfather and a mother who didn’t do anything to protect her or the rest of her siblings. She ran away from home at a young age and tried to reconcile with them once, when I was a little kid. During one of our visits, her stepfather, who I saw back then as a fond Grandpa, started secretly touching me. I told my mom once we were back home, she called them screaming and crying, cut contact with all of them and we never saw him or most of them again.

Years later she would allow visits or phone calls from one or two of her sisters and her mother but eventually she went full NC, mostly because of her trauma from her childhood, and their attitude that what happened to me (and her) was nbd. They didn’t understand why she wouldn’t come back to see her mom even though she still lived with my mom’s abuser. We are from a country with a corrupt government and police force, so he was never reported, and lived a long life with zero consequences before dying of old age.

There were some aunts, uncles and cousins I missed seeing, but as an adult, my disgust for how the entire family remained close with him made me respect and stand by my mom’s NC. Now word has gotten out that she passed away, and her sister who was probably the closest to her back then is trying to reach us through social media. WIBTA for remaining no contact and not giving her any information at all? My mom passed so suddenly we don’t know what her dying wishes would have been but I feel like I should respect the wishes she had in life. I don’t think her family that shrugged off all the abuse should be allowed to be present, and I also just really don’t want to speak to them.