I offer absurdist edits of absurdist Heathcliff comics and c/keeptrack of absurdist government.

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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • In plain English this means

    Me “Have you checked for eggs recently? I just saw a bunch in the nesting boxes. Too many for one day.” Wife “Yeah, it’s been a while. Even Rose [the duck], who hasn’t laid an egg in five years, probably laid one.” Me “I haven’t seen our special needs cat, the one we trapped as part of a TNR run on our own property, in the last 12 hours. Have you seen that blessed dumb beast who walks like he is drunk? If you see him now could you bring him inside?”

    Any sufficiently developed culture has its own language. In this house we go out of our way to make obtuse inside joke references to keep each other on our toes.


  • FauxPseudo @lemmy.worldOPtoCooking @lemmy.worldGreek Salad variant
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    1 day ago

    Add it up. Feta: $5.64 Red onion: 80¢ Red bell pepper: $1.68 Green bell pepper: 68¢ Chicken thighs: $5.60 Cucumbers: $2.11 Tiny tomatoes: $1.98 Olive oil: 30¢ Lemons: 28¢ Oregano: 5¢ Red wine vinegar: 10¢ Garlic, pepper, homemade Greek seasoning mix for the chicken, more olive oil for the baked Chicken, etc.

    Go ahead. Go figure out the cost for every single item and divide it by the two people I’m cooking for. Show your work. Make sure to use Lancaster South Carolina prices instead of whatever European country you are buying in. I’ll wait.






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    1 day ago

    Lol. Not here. I live in the country. Farmers markets charge full retail because it’s all fresh and local branding. They either have it fresh and local or they don’t have it to sell.

    However, if I want to buy in bulk things change. When it comes time to can up tomato soup I’ll be able to get 40 pounds of tomatoes for a fifty cents or less a pound.