• Trae@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Who assigned them male at birth? What if they were raised like a cisgender female typically would be in our society?

    What makes someone ā€œassigned at birthā€? Is it dressing in masculine clothes, is it having a name like Michael and Billy, is it having a circumcision? These can all be comingled with other variations of child rearing.

    Just because a parent assigns a ā€œgenderā€ at birth doesnā€™t make it someoneā€™s actual identifying ā€œgenderā€. As a young child they have no say in the matter and itā€™s quite frankly wrong to whitewash their childhood history and personal trauma like that.

    Now that youā€™re more informed, I hope moving forward you stop trying to erase peopleā€™s adolescent psychological adversity.

    • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      Assigned at birth is referring to what the doctor writes on your birth certificate. Itā€™s not complicated. It has nothing to do with gender.

      • Trae@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        If you ever find yourself wondering why thereā€™s people out there that donā€™t speak up about trans hate, just go reread your original reply to me. My comment was nothing close to hateful or bigoted, but youā€™re not gonna tolerate wrong speak on lemmy.

        You clearly could see where I was coming from and where my support is directed. Instead of total indifference to my comment, which would have been the bare minimum amount of attention you could give to it. You decided to take umbrage with me saying ā€œbiologicalā€ instead of what makes you happy and throw out intersex groups that make up a fraction of a percent of the entire population like an uno reverse card.

        Then to cap it off you made sure to declare that Iā€™ve been ā€œproperly educatedā€, so sayeth you. So from here on out, I need to use the right language orā€¦ else?

        Iā€™m not quite sure what your final edict was supposed to imply. That if I donā€™t use the right language my trans friends wonā€™t talk to me anymore? Iā€™ll get kicked out of the gay club?

        Instead of leaving it, you had to make it a point to punch down on someone who isnā€™t as ā€œinformedā€ as you and put me on blast like I just said the N word equivalent for trans persons.

        Seriously, itā€™s great you want to help spread awareness, but damn you took a super hostile and adversarial tone right off the bat.

        Just calling my shot here. I wrote all this out on my phone and it will not be well received despite the fact that thereā€™s members of trans alliance and advocacy groups who disagree with your position and disagree with the use of ā€œASABā€. Thereā€™s people within the community who dislike using the term trans as a catch all.

        Where do you personally draw the line? Are you going to stop saying ASAB now that you know some people donā€™t like it? Are you going to keep saying ā€œtransā€ even though some people feel like it marginalizes the community and feels too informal to discuss complex gender identities?

        Gender Dysphoria Alliance

        The Problem with saying ASAB

        Columbia Law Review

        For whatever reason people online are more interested in being outraged.

        • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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          18 hours ago

          I didnā€™t take umbrage with your original comment. I just pointed out that itā€™s wrong and you should stop. I was annoyed when you seemed to double down.

          Intersex people are just clear that ā€œbasic biologyā€ is a non-functioning understanding of what biology is. Intersex people couldnā€™t exist if what you learned in high school bio was the end. Itā€™s a clear indication that sex is not just some binary thing. Itā€™s a very complex thing. Even non-intersex people have different developments in the growth due to different hormone levels and other things, and we can even control hormone levels artificially. Itā€™s very complex, and the only useful term is AFAB/AMAB, and then more detailed medical records.

          Then to cap it off you made sure to declare that Iā€™ve been ā€œproperly educatedā€, so sayeth you. So from here on out, I need to use the right language orā€¦ else?

          Yeah, use the more accurate language, or else we know youā€™re choosing not to. Nothings going to happen. Everyone gets to make choices in life. I canā€™t make you do anything, but from one cis-gendered person to another, itā€™s not difficult to be better. Itā€™s just a choice.

          Youā€™re getting really offended by someone just informing you the language you used was wrong. It wasnā€™t even a particularly insulting comment.

          Where do you personally draw the line? Are you going to stop saying ASAB now that you know some people donā€™t like it? Are you going to keep saying ā€œtransā€ even though some people feel like it marginalizes the community and feels too informal to discuss complex gender identities?

          I rarely have a use for either term, so I draw the line where itā€™s useful for others. If youā€™re a doctor, thatā€™s where it matters, and after gender confirmation, your ā€œsexā€ is a lot more complicated. After a while or hormone therapy, youā€™re more akin to your chosen sex than your birth sex. Thatā€™s why the ā€œbiologically male/femaleā€ term isnā€™t useful. Itā€™s assuming their birth sex is their current sex for medical purposes, but itā€™s more complex than that. Sex assigned at birth is useful because it limits it to that period specifically, and your medical records tell the whole story.

          The AEI article you posted seems to ignore this fact. It seems to say your birth sex is the important factor. Itā€™s just one of many. For future development, the one your hormones correspond with is likely more important.

          The CLR article mirrors what Iā€™ve said earlier:

          ā€œBy referring instead to sex assigned at birth, transgender rights advocates convey that ā€œbiological sexā€ is not simple, static, or binary and that gender identity also has biological aspects.ā€

          For whatever reason people online are more interested in being outraged

          I agree. People should be more calm, even when corrected. Being outraged doesnā€™t help. It only acts to cement our mind in preconceived ideas. Changing our minds when provided more information that counters our previous beliefs is something that should be commended, not fled from.

          • Trae@lemmy.world
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            16 hours ago

            Got it.

            I apologize.

            Youā€™re a the most qualified person on the internet for cisgender, trans, and intersex word policing.

            Now that I know and if I donā€™t change, youā€™ll make sure to report it to the cisgender police for trans activities special victims unitā€¦

            Itā€™s interesting you chose the statement ā€œitā€™s not difficult to be better, itā€™s just a choiceā€. You could have started this entire interaction with ā€œhey dude, just a heads up that a lot of transphobes use phrases like ā€˜biological maleā€™ to invalidate trans identitiesā€, but instead you took the opportunity to speak down to me and made sure I was now ā€œeducatedā€ and that I can stop using wrong speak.

            Thank God youā€™re here as an ally to make people question why those of us on this side of the fence canā€™t even get along internally.

            • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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              16 hours ago

              Youā€™re a the most qualified person on the internet for cisgender, trans, and intersex word policing.

              I definitely am not.

              Now that I know and if I donā€™t change, youā€™ll make sure to report it to the cisgender police for trans activities special victims unitā€¦

              I havenā€™t reported or downvoted you.

              Itā€™s interesting you chose the statement ā€œitā€™s not difficult to be better, itā€™s just a choiceā€. You could have started this entire interaction with ā€œhey dude, just a heads up that a lot of transphobes use phrases like ā€˜biological maleā€™ to invalidate trans identitiesā€, but instead you took the opportunity to speak down to me and made sure I was now ā€œeducatedā€ and that I can stop using wrong speak.

              I donā€™t think I spoke down to you, but you are welcome to your opinion. I tried to inform you.

              • Trae@lemmy.world
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                14 hours ago

                ā€œI donā€™t think I spoke down to you, but you are welcome to your opinion. I tried to inform you.ā€

                Really? You seriously can re-read your comment and donā€™t see how shitty it comes across when addressing it to someone who used a word you disagree with unwittingly?

                ā€œAssigned male at birth is the term you want to use. ā€œBiological maleā€ is a term used by transphobes to spread misinformation.ā€

                Not informative at all. Itā€™s you telling me what word I want to use, while implying Iā€™m a transphobe attempting to spread misinformation.

                " Biology is very complex and not your elementary school version of biology. What makes someone ā€œbiologicallyā€ male? Is it having a penis, having testis, having more testosterone than estrogen, having XY chromosomes? These can all be intermixed with other characteristics."

                Hereā€™s the fun part where you state I have an elementary level understanding of biology.

                ā€œThe ā€œbasic biologyā€ definition doesnā€™t work in the real world, and the people using it are actively trying to harm trans people or ignorant. Now youā€™re more informed so ignorance isnā€™t an excuse anymore.ā€

                Hereā€™s the cherry on top where you talk about me not knowing how to discuss complex topics in the real world or that I may be actively trying to harm trans people at worst or ignorant at best. Lastly, in case you know Iā€™m not a transphobe that my ignorance can no longer be an excuse.

                You seriously couldnā€™t possibly think of any other combination of words to get your point across without making me out to be someone thatā€™s intentionally skirting the line of ignorance and bigotry in an effort to harm trans people?

    • melvisntnormal@feddit.uk
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      1 day ago

      Iā€™m not a trans person, but Iā€™m pretty sure that ā€œassigned X at birthā€ refers to whatever gender is assigned on oneā€™s birth certificate.

    • octopus_ink@lemmy.ml
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      20 hours ago

      Man, just reread what was shared with you and take the learning experience. You tried to be cute by making a mad-lib out of it and you sound way worse now than you did two comments up.

      Edit hours later after checking to see if my advice was heeded:

      • Trae@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        Oh no, I didnā€™t heed my trans wisdoms lords advice and theyā€™ve decided to deride someone for a singular word choice to make themselves feel morally superior!

        This will definitely advance the trans acceptance of the common person! Or maybe stay with me here for a moment, not everyone on the internet is as accepting as you are and when they see someone getting slammed for ā€œwrong speakā€ it reinforces their shitty beliefs.

        ā€œIf someone who loves and supports trans people is getting shit on for saying a double plus ungood word by other trans allies, then why would I ever want to be a part of that.ā€

        Iā€™ve heard these conversations verbatim from people I work with who hold actual hatred for trans people and trans acceptance. Once again though youā€™re all living for up votes and that brief instance you get to feel morally superior on the internet and share these snippets in your discord groups. This is clearly such a flippant topic for you that all you could muster up is a meme.

        • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
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          4 hours ago

          If youā€™re taking a few online comments ā€œfrom a perceived groupā€ and labeling the entire movement and ideology of it bad because ā€œthey said mean things to meā€. Well sorry pal, you were just looking for an excuse.

          Try talking to those co-workers and see how nice their word play can be. Should definitely join the people who hold actual hatred than to get over some language critiques so you can properly communicate with a minority group online. You are trying to just communicate right? Just as speaking to a professional or someone without your background you tend to communicate differently to be more effective right?

          I get it, youā€™re old-think and stuck in your ways. ā€œI donā€™t actively harm people, so people shouldnā€™t be harmed by anything I doā€. Itā€™s so much easier to just blame everyone else and continue living in your bubble instead of actually learning new perspectives. People stay locked in their ways everyday, why should you have to be any different?

          If your intention was to sidetrack any conversation from the gun article and only have a debate about trans people, well you did a good job because all of that above is a hot mess I was not interested in after only a few comments.

          • Trae@lemmy.world
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            3 hours ago

            Lol old thinkā€¦ Damn you really think youā€™re cooking with this one.

            Thereā€™s so many broad sweeping assumptions in this comment that it would take an hour to properly address them.

            Iā€™m for trans expression, safety, gender affirming care, and right to live peacefully and safely.

            Iā€™m.for sweeping changes to firearm laws and way more gun control measures to prevent senseless deaths at the hands of firearms. Ideally the US would have laws like Canada or Australia.

            This is exactly my point. This ā€œperceived groupā€ of people online would rather be outraged and morally superior by convincing yourselves that you found a top secret bigot on a mission to detail the thread instead of just looking at the first reply to my comment as what it is, someone being an asshole by talking to down to me about using wrongspeak.

            Also, perceived group? Itā€™s like 20 dorks on lemmy who enjoy talking down to others while jumping to conclusions without knowing who theyā€™re talking to at all. It has nothing to do with the gender identity movement as a whole. I form my opinions on that based on speakiny with my actual friends and family that are LGBTQIA+.

            A simple ā€œhey just a heads up, a lot of people avoid terms like biological male because its commonly used by transphobes to invalidate gender identities onlineā€ would have been clearly understood and accepted.

            However, some people are so terminally online that they assume everything is a secret mission to destroy them from within. It seriously sounds like the reverse of the ā€œGeorge soros is paying libs to post these comments on redditā€ crowd. Iā€™m not saying that there isnā€™t people sea lioning out here and dog whistling, but you are on such high alert that you canā€™t even spot when someone is just being called out for simply being an asshole, because itā€™s on such a controversial and hot topic.