I’m aware of the NCIS scenes, what else you guys got?

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    If a girl doesn’t like you, but you just keep pursuing her, everything will eventually work out and you’ll be happy together.

    • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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      Being told this time and time and time again has really fucked the male psyche over the years.

    • Damage@feddit.it
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      Uhm, it kinda happened for me, I felt that this girl liked me but she said no the first time. I stuck around, as we were in the same group of friends, and after a while she changed her mind. We’ve been together for over a decade.

      • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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        Kinda happened for me and I’m the girl in the situation! I had a guy who was creepily obsessed with me and would threaten to hurt himself all the time if he didn’t get his way. He even showed up at my house uninvited once and he always kept insisting we were dating. I kept telling him we were just friends at best, that’s it, but he’d freak out, insist we were lovers, and have a panic attack. Eventually he’d forget all about it and just pretend I never said anything.

        I didn’t call the cops because I’m honestly afraid of the police more than him at this point. (The police in this town are as stupid as they are accusatory sadly)

        It has a weirdly happy ending. Eventually I just lost all patience and gave him the number for a therapist. He actually went, he realized I was afraid of him.

        My plan was to finally “Break up with him” for REAL this time after a therapist set him straight.

        He broke down in tears realizing that he was never really my boyfriend, at first he called me heartless saying that it wasn’t fair that from his perspective I had punished him for seeking out therapy I told him to get.

        After he calmed down we hung out for a bit, but… then we actually stared dating because it turned out that with his meds keeping him stable he’s actually a wonderful person that I get along well with and I actually DO love him. My family has even pretty much accepted him as part of the fold with my mother saying that it’s like she’s gained a son all of a sudden.

        We just spent Halloween together and watched Fritz The Cat while high on shrooms and eating candy, being super lovey dovey with each other and talking about the 70’s…

        Life is strange.

        I doubt it happens like this for most people.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        There’s an entire genre of tiktok videos out there of women saying things like “So this guy I like asked me out, and I said no, and he was like okay bye and just walked away. What is with men not pursuing women anymore?”

        Hmm what was that hashtag popular a few years ago? #nomeanskeepgoing?

        “No means no” they said. Meanwhile in this very thread: “I’m actually in love with the guy that stalked me.”

        If you want no to mean no, you have to say different things when you mean something other than no. If you want to play hard to get, A) don’t, you suck at it and B) maybe let him know that’s the game you’re playing so he’ll actually try hard to get you instead of just taking a flat rejection at face value; ie don’t just say “no” say “You’ll have to try harder than that” or something that indicates you are open to further attention. What saying “no” when you actually mean “try harder” accomplishes is you filter out the guys who take no for an answer leaving your dating pool only filled with the men who don’t really care that much about consent.

        As for the “I turned him down becuase I wasn’t interested in him, then we actually talked and turned out I actually like the guy” story…I guess maybe try actually talking to guys? Even if you don’t cream your gusset at first sight?

        • Damage@feddit.it
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          Eh, well, people are varied, don’t make the mistake of grouping all behaviours together, if someone says no and then loses a chance, that’s their problem tbh.
          Relations and relationships are difficult, so as always, tolerance and understanding are key… of course there’s context, “no means no” was used in the context of sexual intercourse, there’s not much room for interpretation there.

    • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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      Ya know, it kinda makes sense that Hollywood is full of sex criminals when you look at romantic comedies and are always left wondering “And he’s not in jail why?”

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        There’s a Christmas movie called Holiday in Handcuffs where a woman abducts a dude to play her boyfriend so her family gets off of her back, and naturally they actually fall in love by the end but also HOLY SHIT HOW IS THAT A THING

    • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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      Unfortunately, this one goes both ways. Some women feel like they need to play hard to get, because otherwise they’re sluts, and also they want to know that a guy really likes her. It’s self defeating of course, on both sides.

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      It worked for a friend of mine. They were friends, he kept trying to get her to date him and after a year of pestering she caved. They’re engaged now.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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        not making any claims about your friend’s situation, but i’ve seen this happen more than once also–pestering, caving, engagement-- and they ended very badly.

        getting engaged or even married does not necessarily mean “happy together”

      • paddirn@lemmy.world
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        You just got to wear them down enough, break their willpower. They can learn to love in time.

      • superkret@feddit.org
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        I watched Reality Bites as a teenager, and I’m convinced it had a negative influence on my life.
        The character Ethan Hawke played became my role model, and he’s just not a very good one, at all.

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    I just fired a gun right next to your head, neither of us was wearing ear protection, and now we’re having a conversation at normal volume and we can understand each other just fine.

    Bonus points for grenades going off indoors, and nobody having a concussion after.

    • atempuser23@lemmy.world
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      Just an fyi for those that seem to think otherwise.

      A .38 fired too close, not even next to, you when you don’t have hearing protection can cause temporary total hearing loss and lifetime hearing loss that amounts to a disability.

      Also hearing loss can be a strong influence on getting severe depression.

    • ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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      I fired an assault rifle in the army without hearing protection once just so try how loud it was. No need to try that one again. I knew it’s going to be loud but not that loud.

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      I think there’s a scene in The Other Guys where Will Ferrell and another guy temporarily get deafened by the loudness of gunshots. Might be thinking of a different movie but it was funny, like “Holy SHIT that was loud!” “Whaat?”

    • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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      I was in a play once where we were going to fire a blank onstage, in a fairly small black box theatre. There were two options, a .22 and a .45 caliber blank. The .22 made a sharp CRACK that really shocked you. The .45 made a VWOOM sound that filled up the entire room and left you with the feeling of a wave of violent energy having just passed through your entire body.

      We went with the .22.

    • Jolteon@lemmy.zip
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      Hey, but it had a silencer on it, which is absolutely what it’s called, and makes the shots super quiet so they won’t be heard by people in the next room!

    • SassyRamen@lemmy.world
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      Depends on the gun. 9mm would be a normal conversation, 50. cal by the being shot close to your head with no hearing protection hurts

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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        9mm would be a normal conversation

        Right after it being fired right next to your head? With no ear protection?

        Permanent hearing loss aside, I’d probably have a few very harsh words for the idiot firing irresponsibly rather than a “normal conversation” 🙄

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          I’ve shot and been around the shooting of easily of 1 million rounds. 9mm isn’t loud, especially in comparison.

          Yeah, good point, gun safety is very Important. Guns aren’t toys.

          • BalooWasWahoo@links.hackliberty.org
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            Congratulations on your hearing damage making things seem quiet? I’ve had somewhat fewer rounds, maybe 100k-200k, and 9mm is still deafeningly loud. I’m betting it’s because I wore hearing protection for most of it…

            For god’s sakes, a simple internet search immediately shows the lack of evidence for 9mm being quiet.

            Yeah, good point, gun safety is very Important. Guns aren’t toys.

            • RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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              You are correct, and that guy doesn’t know he’s deaf I guess. All pistols are loud enough to hurt your ears if your ears are normal. Even a .22LR pistol with a 6" target barrel is pretty loud to the naked ear.

            • Bertuccio@lemmy.world
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              I haven’t shot that much, but I’ve found pistols to be louder than smaller rifles - probably because the barrels are shorter and they’re a fair bit closer to your face.

              • BalooWasWahoo@links.hackliberty.org
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                I have the same experience, generally. It will definitely have a lot of room to wiggle around, depending on the particular gun’s characteristics, the bullet’s characteristics, and even the surrounding environment. If you read the wikipedia on it, you’ll even see a section complaining about how measured dB levels are nearly useless if the distance from the source isn’t measured. A lawn mower across the street isn’t such a big deal, but the one pushing it should have hearing protection.

          • Fox@pawb.social
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            I’ve shot a few thousand rounds. 9mm is very loud. Shoot it in a closed space just once without earpro and you will cause permanent damage to your hearing.

            I don’t think a million round sample size would help you in judging this.

              • Fox@pawb.social
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                You realize it’s a function of distance and that function is logarithmic, right? A gunshot at one foot is a hundred times louder than it is at 20 feet. If you were exposed to a million gunshots of any caliber from a foot away, you would be profoundly deaf.

                • SassyRamen@lemmy.world
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                  This is the most blantantly ignorant comment I’ve read on Lemmy. No one would assume that every single shot was shot close to my head.

                  That being said, yes, most living adults understand how sound works.

              • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                Think it just varies by rounds/gun and surroundings. I’ve had 9mm’s be quite quiet, but I had a Walther PK380 that would make my ears ring in a field without protection. It’s a smaller round than a 9mm… So never understood why.

      • abigscaryhobo@lemmy.world
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        I’ll just add to this, 9mm, or any handgun really, is still very loud. The reason it doesn’t seem as loud is because when most people are shooting there are two main things happening.

        1. They’re behind the barrel, normally this doesn’t matter much, but the sound is at least a little directional, so being in front of it is going to make it sound much louder because you’re hearing the initial explosion, not an echo.
        2. Most people aren’t shooting it in their house, they’re at a gun range. The space in front of you at the range allows for the sound to travel and the pressure to spread through the room, slightly reducing the impact of the sound. Shoot one in a tiny room and it’s going to be much worse for you.

        Again it’s still really loud, but the context of where the sound is being made does make a difference. Obviously larger rounds will be louder, but that doesn’t mean rounds like 9mm are safe for your ears at all.

  • BmeBenji@lemm.ee
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    When someone’s falling hundreds of feet and when they’re inches from the ground a super hero swoops in from the side to grab them.

    Sure, they didn’t hit the ground but not only did you catching them slow down their vertical velocity just as fast as the ground would have, now you’ve accelerated them horizontally so fast that they’re now twice as dead as they would’ve been otherwise

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    A more mundane one, but people on reasonably normal incomes living in a house that’s at least one order of magnitude more expensive than they could ever afford even if they purchased it twenty or thirty years ago. Its particularly bad in things set in expensive areas like London or New York or Tokyo. Like being able to afford a house in central London rather than renting a flat with three other people takes substantial money, you aren’t going to be afford that if you work in a supermarket.

    • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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      The apartment in Friends is rent controlled and leased by Monica’s dead grandma. She’s been committing fraud for years to keep the apartment affordable.

    • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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      There was an old meme about house-hunting reality shows that was like, “David sharpens colored pencils for a living and Kirstin volunteers 2 days a week at the butterfly museum. Their budget is two million.”

    • ericbomb@lemmy.worldOP
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      I’d love if in one of those shows it’s just implied lightly throughout the entire thing that they are squatting in the home of someone who died and the city never noticed or something stupid like that XD

      • LetKCater2U@sh.itjust.works
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        That kinda happens in Friends. Monica is living in her grandmother’s rent controlled apartment in the village. And still had a roommate!

    • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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      You’re telling me a waitress in New York City can’t afford a penthouse apartment and have a comedically unlimited food budget?

    • Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world
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      The apartment in Big Daddy was awesome and I was like ain’t no way Adam Sandler’s character can afford that!

    • A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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      How the fuck does Bundy own a palacial 2 story + basement suburban mansion on the salary of an incompetent shoe salesman in a store that gets almost no customers!

      • GenosseFlosse@feddit.org
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        He probably bought it in the 70s when he had no kids and his salary was higher, compared to the 80s and 90s with inflation, but the same salary.

    • Jolteon@lemmy.zip
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      Hey, if you got the property mortgage-free from your parents, all you have to pay is taxes. The taxes/insurance on a property like that would still be high, but not unreasonable for someone working full time, especially if they don’t have to worry about a mortgage.

    • jenny_ball@lemmy.world
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      Everyone lives in amazing homes in movies and they all have amazing jobs like director of the cia at like 25 years old and they do a lot of work while walking quickly down the hallways barking instructions to their assistants on their sides.

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    This happens with fire sprinklers a lot, one sprinkler goes off, and triggers the rest of the floor, or sometimes even building.

    That’s not how it works. Each sprinkler has it’s own trigger mechanism, the glass bulb, and cannot trigger another sprinkler.

    There are systems where this happens, but the sprinkler heads look very different, and you won’t find them in an office building.

      • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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        Yes. A combination of rust, thread cutting oil, and water that has been in the pipes often since the system was filled. It smells, it will stain anything it touches, and it’s a smell that’s difficult to remove.

    • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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      Also I’ve heard that the water that first comes out of those sprinklers is RANK from having sat in the pipes for years

      • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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        It definitely is.

        It has a particular smell that doesn’t come out of fabric easily, either.

    • Jolteon@lemmy.zip
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      Theoretically the water hammer effect might be able to break that glass, but I think it’s unlikely.

    • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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      There are sprinklers where this happens and the sprinklers look exactly the same. There’s a pressure switch on the sprinkler line that activates a deluge pump. This pump has enough pressure and flow capacity to break open the glass ampules of the remaining sprinklers in the circuit.

  • pjwestin@lemmy.world
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    The Dark Knight trilogy really wanted to be a realistic, grounded take on the Batman mythos, so they dropped the more fantastical elements of some characters’ backstories. Ra’s Al Ghul was no longer immortal, Bane didn’t have super steroids, the Joker wasn’t permanently bleached by chemicals…then there’s Two-Face.

    I guess they thought acid burns were too unrealistic, so they gave him regular burns…apparently without knowing that burns that severe would be so painful that he wouldn’t even be able to remain conscious, much less run around the city on a killing spree. I mean, you can see exposed muscle in some places. There’s a line where Gordon says he’s rejecting skin grafts, and I remember thinking, “WTF are you talking about? He should be in a medically induced coma, not making healthcare decisions.” Half of his body was an open wound; I’m amazed he didn’t die of infection 15 minutes after he left the hospital.

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    In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy’s skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes that same rib twice in succession yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we, to believe that this is some sort of a, a magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

  • slazer2au@lemmy.world
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    Hacking.

    There is no way that you keyboard danced for 12 seconds and completed a nmap scan, identified an unpatched target with a remote code execution bug, delivered the payload, pivoted to an account with the permissions you needed, and found the server running the internal application you are looking for.

    • AVincentInSpace@pawb.social
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      exactly. running an nmap scan alone involves minutes on end of just sitting there, waiting for nmap to do its thing, and hoping that the network administrator doesn’t notice your computer running the most obvious port scan of all time, barge into your borrowed cubicle, and say “what the hell are you doing”

    • Vespair@lemm.ee
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      There’s a scene in NCIS where somebody is losing a “hacker fight” so to turn it around a second person joins in and starts typing on the same keyboard.

      I’m not exaggerating.

      Like there’s suspension of disbelief, and then there’s whatever psychological issue watchers of NCIS suffer from.

      • ericbomb@lemmy.worldOP
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        Hehe that scene was the one that made me think of this post.

        NCIS should just dive into self parody at this point.

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      To be fair, that’s your personal thing, because you have knowledge about this topic. In movies and TV a crap ton of stuff is abbreviated to not bore the audience to death. Some shows portrait a certain domain more or less realistically but still take dramatic license with other things. After all, we watch this stuff to escape from reality.

    • ericbomb@lemmy.worldOP
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      Realistic hacking scenes would be funny.

      “Okay I’m in”

      “Wait… how?”

      “Oh I figured out the default passwords and naming conventions for new employees awhile ago.”

      Funnily enough I got my college to change password policies because for a report for one of my classes I wrote about how stupid it was that all new users passwords were First intial + last initial + last four of social security number, with usernames being firstname + lastname + year. Since they had no max number of attempts on logins, and didn’t prompt you to change password on logging in, it took a few minutes to get into anyone’s account once you knew their name. (That school was very incompetent, and they are closed now)

      OR

      “Give me 20 minutes, I’m on hold with IT. They’ll reset the password and tell me it if I give them an employee ID, dob, and name. Which I see clearly on this guys facebook picture where he has his badge visibile.”

      Or a hacking guy trying to brute force for days. Then the “no nonsense” guy goes out for 20 minutes, and comes back with it and refused to answer questions. Oh wait… that’s just XKCD.

  • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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    GI Joe movie where they blow up a sheet of ice on the ocean to make it sink down and destroy the base below.

    • davidgro@lemmy.world
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      I had to read that 2-3 times before I could comprehend that the base was not on top of ice and falling through it.

      Yeah…

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      That got me upset enough that when I read “GI Joe movie” in your comment, it was the first thing I thought of, before reading the rest of your comment.

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      Basically searched through the comments for this one. I knew it would be here. I know there’s a lot of “movie logic” for hacking, space flight, how guns work, etc. but how do you fuck up elementary physics? Even kids know ice floats.

    • snf@lemmy.world
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      Cartoon GI Joe or live action GI Joe? I’m inclined to cut cartoons in general a lot of slack in terms of physics abuse

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    In movies when there’s a huge explosion in space, there’s always this ring that comes out from the explosion. No!

    In space the blast wave would be spherical: it only looks like a 2d ring when observed from a telescope many many light years away, since the telescope can only pick up the outside edge of the blast.

    Edit: fixed auto-incorrect

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      I remember very vividly when they redid the special effects in the original Star Wars trilogy and added this dumbass ring coming out of the Death Star explosion. It completely broke immersion for me because I was like “wtf is that supposed to be?”

      • dev_null@lemmy.ml
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        You could make an argument that there was some kind of huge spinning gyroscope reaction wheel system on that axis which projected the explosion that way.

        But we all know there wasn’t.

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          My thought is that it’s revealing the construction and weak points of the death star. It may have been constructed in two hemispheres that were joined together, and that seam might have been the failure point where gassed were released when the internal pressure got too high.

          Except then we should see the two hemispheres blow out from each other a bit, which they don’t.

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            All in all, the film makers had many things they could choose to make the effect look plausible, but they didn’t.

        • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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          Honestly the original effects also had me going:

          So I suppose it’s not that much worse with the ring

          Edit: meant to reply one comment up. Too late now

      • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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        I mean, it might have made sense if it lined up with the equatorial channel that the death star has. If the inside was exploding and that was the weakest area, material would be ejected out the ring first before the rest of the structure exploded. That might, indeed cause a ring effect. But in this scene the ring is going vertically, not horizontally. So yea, doesn’t make much sense.

      • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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        Hell, in Star Trek VI, where the Praxis Effect originates, it’s a horrifying industrial accident that blows up Praxis, so for all we know there might well have been some kind of moon-sized particle accelerator that blew up and did cause that ring shape. But it seems to show up in a lot of places where there’s not as justifiable an excuse.

  • angrystego@lemmy.world
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    First time I saw the Jurassic park I thought no way would intelligent people just run around a huge and therefore dangerous Brachiosaurus or jump out of the car and run right to the ill Triceratops. That would be Darwin’s award kind of madness.

    Then I studied biology, got to know some zoologists and paleontologists, and yeah, this is exactly what would happen.

  • GiveOver@feddit.uk
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    When something or somebody is injected into space, they always freeze in seconds. The logic is that “space is cold” but space is mostly a vacuum and vacuums don’t have temperature. Vacuums insulate against conduction, so you’re not going to freeze anytime soon. (You’ll lose heat via radiation but that will take a while).

    Not to mention the effect that zero pressure has on freezing/boiling points. If anything you’d be steaming as all the water on you evaporates!

  • FrankFrankson@lemmy.world
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    Stepping on a landmine doesn’t make it explode instead it arms the mine with a noticible click sound then lifting up your foot is the thing that makes it explode.

    • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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      “sir, we’ve invented something that blows up when you step on it”

      “That’s great, but where’s your sense of drama?”

    • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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      IIRC the whole thing about the land mines exploding when you step off of them is purely down to the Bouncing Betty or the German S-Mine, which saw widespread use and gained its infamy in WW2. They almost worked in the manner described, actually going off with a time delay rather than waiting until the hapless soldier removed his foot from the plunger. But they used a small lift charge to pop the main explosive up into the air a couple of feet and then went off, with the aim of shrapneling in a circle a whole group of soldiers passing by and not just whoever stepped on it. Obviously this wouldn’t work so well if someone were standing on it at the time.

      The popular conception formed that they went off “after you stepped off of them,” which was true in most cases (who was going to just stand there like a nincompoop after you’d just triggered it?) and then Hollywood writers of the era just assumed that most or all landmines worked that way and wouldn’t let that misconception go. So now here we are.

    • Higgs boson@dubvee.org
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      I just watched an episode of Justified where that trope happened. At least they claimed it was specially modified by a bomb-maker.

    • Bezier@suppo.fi
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      Landmine engineer watched Saw and decided to add this completely unnecessary torture feature just for the sake of it.

    • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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      Apparently this actually happens, with a very specific type of mine meant for tank infantry. Stupid people just think “some mines work this way, therefore all do.”

      Kinda like how a decade ago we had the Gluten-Free craze because somehow enough people heard “Some people can’t have gluten” and interpreted that as “No one should have gluten”

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    Gotta be the “high noon duel” in western movies. That didn’t happen much in the real wild west.

    Citizens shooting at gangs during bank robberies? Yup.
    Shootout at The OK Corral? Yup.
    Lynching of accused criminals before a judge could come to town? Oh hell yes.

    But that trope of lawman/outlaw facing off in the middle of the street for a prearranged gun duel just didn’t really happen.

    • felixwhynot@lemmy.world
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      Makes me wonder where the trope came from…

      People definitely used to do pistol duels at prearranged times, but maybe that fell out of favor in the West?

      • FryHyde@lemmy.zip
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        Honestly almost all of it comes from a single duel Wild Bill Hicock had, and also a bunch of bullshit that a traveling huckster named Buffalo Bill Cody just sort of made up for fun in his touring wild west shows.

        • abigscaryhobo@lemmy.world
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          Actually yeah now that you mention it, it does sound like something out of a renaissance festival where they’re setting up a scheduled show lol.

          “Dirty Dave I’m calling you out! You and I are going to have a duel to the death! At 12:00 in the town square! Right in front of the Hootenanny Stage! Be there to see who is the winner! Tips welcome!”

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            An ancestor of mine wrote a memoir of growing up in an Old West mining town. He saw one gunfight. In the early morning, a man saw the front door of his house open and another man walk out. Not happy to find that another gentleman’s bacon had been in his grill, he demanded satisfaction. That led to an impromptu duel which the offended husband won. My ancestor was walking to school when it all went down.

            That was probably an exceptional situation, since the town in question was notoriously violent and corrupt.

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        Duels did happen from time to time in the 19th century. For example, California Senator David Broderick in 1859 became the only US Senator to die in a duel, and there’s a difficult to validate tale of two French men in 1808 holding a gun duel in hot air balloons!

        Actually I have a history book about the history of ballooning called Aeronauts that I found at a thrift store. If I remember I’ll see what that has to say about this tale because it does call out other largely fabricated tales as such

        But like most fictions, the fiction of Wild West duels contains some kernels of truth and certainly makes for great drama

  • Katana314@lemmy.world
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    There’s a trillion ones around unrealism, so I may as well pick something that would be more enjoyable if fixed.

    Professional chatter. Let’s say a team of 30 scientists have been trying to communicate with a dimensional portal for 5 years. They wouldn’t be using speech like “Identity verified. Doctor Faris, you are clear to approach the anomaly.” Often, they’d have extremely abbreviated lingo for everything they need to express that happens on a daily basis, and otherwise are chatting about other stuff.

    “Ok, approach endorsed. Bob wasn’t so chatty yesterday from what I heard, we’ll just aim for 2 logic points for this cycle.”
    “Ryan was suggesting we spread the cycles. Bob has to sleep sometime.”
    “Yeah, 90% of us would rather listen to Ryan than Mick, but Mick signs the checks.”

    So the only actual order comes from some obscure phrase like “Approach endorsed”, which they may only say verbatim for safety reasons. The rest is just workplace banter about how best to accomplish their task, none of it being essential. EDIT: And, to make clear, in the above quote, Bob is the portal/anomaly.