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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Used-Internal61 on 2023-09-07 15:35:08.

My son, Sam (M17), has begun his last year of high school this fall. He’s a smart and ambitious kid, and I’m certain he’ll succeed in his studies, but his recent behavior has made me (F46) and his father (Ryan M46) worried. This worry stems from his close friendship with his classmate Stacey (F17).

Initially, their relationship seemed like a regular friendship when it began back in February. However, Ryan and I did notice how he spent way more time with Stacey compared to his other friends, and she would come over to our house pretty often. We weren’t exactly thrilled about Sam spending so much time with Stacey, and we made it very clear to him that his school obligations should not suffer as a result of the time he spends with her. He has always assured us that it wouldn’t.

That being said, Sam’s marks began to slide and when we told him about our concerns, he said that it wasn’t Stacey’s fault and that he was tired from his extracurriculars or that the material covered had become more challenging.

During the summer, it became increasingly apparent that Sam’s time and attention were disproportionately consumed by Stacey. Ryan told him that during the upcoming school year, he would need to focus primarily on his school work and that he should not waste time entertaining Stacey. He was upset with this and said that he could manage his time properly and that we shouldn’t worry about it.

Fast forward to this school year, and it seems like Sam is spending even more time hanging out with Stacey. He recently received the results back from a physics quiz and his score was disappointing, significantly lower than his normal average. It wasn’t only this quiz. He got back and English assignment that was also lower than his normal and found a chemistry assignment to be more difficult than normal.

We spoke with him about it, he explained that he was still rusty from the summer and would perform much better on the next quiz and assignments. Ryan and I weren’t satisfied with this response and I told him that he should have studied more the night before the physics quiz instead of having dinner with Stacey’s parents. My husband was working late that night and didn’t know this, and he became pretty angry when he found out. He told Sam that he could not have Stacey over again and that he himself could not go to her house on school nights.

Sam became upset with this and later asked me to talk with Ryan. I told him that the decision was final and that Stacey not studying herself for the quiz must have rubbed off on him. He told me that she wasn’t in the physics class, and I told him that this made things even worse since she didn’t care that he had a quiz the next day. I then told him that the ban will stay in effect for the foreseeable future.

I was talking with my younger sister (Amanda F36), who always had a soft spot for Sam. She says that we’re being unbelievably harsh and that we should not focus so much on Sam’s grades.

AITA?

Context - For those wondering his normal physics scores are typically in the high 80s to low 90s range. His quiz score was a 62