Integrated butt-recognition and -suppression.
Data’s in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it’s those damned organics and their mating rituals again.
The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.
Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.
Riker’s butt already did it:
I knew it!
She looks like she wouldn’t mind him shooting his torpedo at her.
Nah, see, Federation has advanced haptic systems that can tell it’s a butt and therefore not valid input.
What about the guest aliens with hand-butt?
Galaxy-class is probably like that fancy BMWs with personalized automatic seat- and driving-wheel-adjustments and driver-specific preferred settings for Ul and entertainment-center…
Well, that’s just another opportunity for the crew to have some personal growth in resolving the misunderstanding.
That’s how he flirts with the ship computer.
Ass-controlled space lasers? Are you trying to summon MTG?
If I can get her within range of the lasers then sure. Will be very fitting- hoisted by her own petard.
If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.
It’s not real. It’s just a prop.
(｡╯︵╰｡)
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of Starship Operations. The weapon systems aren’t energized and the console isn’t in Tactical configuration unless specifically ordered so or the ship is brought to Red Alert. Given the casual nature of the communication happening that is clearly not true.
Whew, that’s a relief. Are there safeguards in place if he sharts?
All Starfleet panels are butt-proof and shart rated. This is notably different from Klingon panels, which are only rated for protection against blood, blood wine, and puke containing blood wine.
Romulan panels are rated against subterfuge but the protection has been secretly disabled.
Ok, let’s assume they are capacitive touch. I think they may have made safe for sitting pants by then.
You know what they say happens when you assume things.
Class out, ass out!
Didn’t Jonathan Frakes often lean due to back injuries?
