I didn’t get to come out. My mom’s piece of shit boyfriend invaded my privacy, went through my bedroom and computer, then showed my mom my private journal and browser history. She then outed me to everyone in my family and at her church as a way to get sympathy for herself. She pulled me out of the school where I had just been elected student body VP and switched me to one closer to home so she could have more control over where I went. She took away my computer, pawned it and kept the money for herself. She did her best to cut me off from everyone supportive in my life, though the courts forced her to let me see my dad. She told me I was possessed by the devil. I was basically imprisoned in my own home, only allowed to go to church and to shitty Christian “therapy” until I turned 18 and moved out.

I can’t remember how old I was exactly… 18 or 19? I came out as gay, though later realized I was bi/pan, to my mom with a note because I was pretty sure she would be accepting, but I wasn’t about my dad. Neither of them really cared? Like it wasn’t a big deal.

The only negative thing I think coming out did was stop getting us invited to Thanksgiving at my super Christian aunt’s house. But you know… Fuck 'em. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I had two, and they were very different.

In the late 90s I came out as bisexual. It was honestly pretty uneventful. Anybody who would have had a problem with it had clocked me as queer long before I started exploring my sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, I lived in a shitty, backward town and went to a highschool that several shitty backward towns sent their kids to. It definitely sucked for me, but it had been bad for a long time before that. The people who cared about me though? They continued to care about me.

In 2018, though, I came out as trans and started hormones about 6 months later. I lost what had been some close friends. Some were overtly transphobic and at this point either refuse to acknowledge my existence at all or literally glare daggers when they see me. Many others just drifted away. Some people have accepted me and treat me the same as they ever did, a few I feel if anything maybe a little closer to. Some people are still mostly friendly, but will sometimes misgender me, as though they don’t dislike me but want to imagine me the way I used to present myself.

With family it was maybe a little awkward and some get it more than others, but it’s been alright. One of my uncles still deadnames me sometimes, and while my Dad and I are fairly close for him being on the other side of the country, I don’t think he’s ever actually used my name. It was awkward with my Mom at first, but she’s supportive of my transition now and it’s become kind of the least of our worries.

The most difficult part, other than having lost people, is strangers and acquaintances. I never know who’s going to suddenly throw their bigotry in my face or who’s going to treat me differently the moment they get a good look at me. I think for the most part I’m pretty good at pushing past a lot of people’s biases and letting them see me as a person. I usually find it easy to just be real with people and develop a rapport quickly. But with some people, nothing I could ever say or do will make a difference. There are some businesses I avoid like the plague because of the way they treat me, and others where I worry about certain people who work there but get along with others. Voice chat in video games gets kinda rough sometimes. I’m still working on my voice training and it’s always kind of nerve wracking talking to someone I meet online in vc for the first time, wondering if their impression of me is going to suddenly change.

Being trans sometimes it feels like coming out never ends. It happens again every time a new person sees me. Like, they look at my clothes and hair, then they look at my face and my shoulders and they start doing math in their head. Or I open my mouth and it’s a little more bassy than they expected or I’d like it to be. I’ve had laser hair removal, I’ve been on hormones for years and had some major changes, and my wardrobe at this point is all skirts and dresses, but I can tell that most people are clocking me pretty quickly. Not to say I don’t think I look good or don’t look femme. Thankfully I always looked a little androgynous without facial hair. But enough of the signs are there that you can see it clicks in people’s heads.

Honestly, though, I own it. I am who I am, I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, and my body has changed substantially to the point that I’m much more comfortable in it. There are things I’d like to change, but I think that applies to most women. I wouldn’t go back for anything, even when people are being shitty.

I only did to my wife and a close friend. Felt like the end of the world. Was shocked when it wasn’t. That said, I will never come out to my family. That will spell the end of my life.

Well I came out to my parents when I was 13 or 14 :3… after that it took them about 5 years and my therapist outing me to realize I was serious about that :3… after that incident I also came out as trans, which im pretty sure they forgot about x3